Insanity

part 1 of being Being Dead = finished!

Mon, 20 Jul 2009 18:23:56 GMT

This is the last bit of part one. I still want to rename this fic, but Being Dead seems to have stuck. Motherfucker.

Feel free to point out any mistakes and offer up criticism.

I'll post the beginning of part 2 on... maybe Friday? I want to fiddle with this part a bit (add in some scenes, maybe fatten it up) before I work on the next.

section 1, section 2, section 3.

Naruto's funeral took place two weeks after his body was found.

"You know," Naruto said, "I don't think I've ever looked that good when I was alive."

"Still thinking about the visitation?" Sasuke asked.

"Yeah," Naruto said. He was showing off his latest trick--sitting mid-air, legs crossed, above people's heads. It was cool, even if Sasuke didn't think so.

Next to Sasuke, Sakura smoothed her palms over her gray dress. She looked gorgeous, Naruto thought. "Yes," Sakura said. "I've never seen him look so--peaceful. So quiet."

Sasuke took her hand. He'd been doing that a lot. Naruto lifted himself a couple inches higher.

There were so many more people than he'd thought there would be. There were even a few college professors. Everyone from the restaurant was there. Some kid from his high school. His landlord. She looked stunned.

Naruto didn't mind that some were obviously bored. He was a little bored. Still....

He circled slowly in place, like a top. "Wow."

"They all care enough to say goodbye," Sasuke said.

Naruto glanced down. "You're gonna look crazy if you keep talking to me," he said.

Sakura said, "Of course they do. He was always so happy. So bright. You know, I think I was almost in love with him."

"What?" Naruto said.

Sasuke's features stilled. He said, "Ah."

Sakura said, "I'm sorry. Maybe I shouldn't have said that."

Sasuke shrugged. He didn't let go of her hand. Instead, his tilted his head down towards her.

They didn't kiss. Sasuke was whispering. Naruto met his eyes, soft and black. Sasuke smiled. Except it wasn't really a smile: it looked too painful.

Naruto said, "Sasuke? What--"

Sakura was frozen. "Since when?" she said.

"Since when what?" Naruto asked, wanting in. "Oi, Sasuke, what did you tell her?"

"I mean, I--oh." Sakura was staring. At Sasuke. She was more stunned than the landlord. "Is that why you paid for--all this?"

"Hey, hey, what did you tell her?" Naruto said.

"It's a secret," Sasuke said seriously.

"That's unfair!" Naruto said. "You know, I'll find out anyway. I'm with you all the time."

"Of course," Sakura said, and then: "Do you ever wish you said something, before he--died?"

"Yes," Sasuke said. He stepped away from her. "It's time."

Sakura's fingers slid out of Sasuke's grip. She raised them to her chest. "I--yes, okay. Sasuke... I'm sorry."

"Yes," Naruto said, "but for what?"

Sakura walked towards the microphone. The sun was shining; the seats were white, and plastic. Sasuke looked relieved, and lighter somehow.

"Sasuke!" Naruto said. "Seriously, what did you tell her?"

Sasuke didn't answer, just gave him that pained not-smile. He sat down. Sakura coughed into the microphone, and began to speak. People started to find their seats.

It had already been quiet. It was even more quiet, now.

Naruto drifted back, and then even farther back, beyond the last row. His feet touched the ground. He imagined he could feel the grass, feel the same breeze that ruffled people's hair and clothes but left him untouched.

Still. It was a good day for a funeral. Naruto looked straight ahead at Sakura.

He let her words flow over him--through him, really. He'd been a good friend. He'd been funny. He'd been sweet, and kind, and brave.

He would be missed. He was missed.

Naruto thought, I really am dead.

He tried it again: I'm dead.

So why am I here? Why am I staying?

Sakura stepped down. Sasuke stepped up.

Their gazes met, over [#] rows of friends, aquaintances, and half-strangers. Naruto grinned, as wide as he could. He mouthed: Thank you.

Sasuke wasn't smiling. He began with, "Naruto Uzumaki was my best friend."

-

-

When Sasuke entered the bedroom, he saw Naruto was framed by the window. His eyebrows drew together.

"I liked that other CD better," Naruto said.

"I was looking for you," Sasuke said. He was holding a wine glass.

"That's your fouth, ain't it?" Naruto said.

Sasuke shrugged.

"Sorry. I just... sorry." Naruto turned back to the video. "You should go drink some more. You deserve to be completely trashed after the weeks you've had."

"So do you," Sasuke said. He sat on the bed.

"Yeah, but I'm dead."

Sasuke tilted his head back and drank the wine like it was beer. "This is the first time you've said that."

Naruto floated next to him. "No it's not."

"Yes it is. Those two words. 'I'm dead.' " Sasuke frowned. "You should walk."

"I'm dead," Naruto said spitefully.

"Yes," Sasuke said quietly. "You are."

"How much have you had?" Naruto said suspiciously.

The door opened. Sasuke jumped. "Sasuke? They're playing Scrabble. Do you want to join?" It was Sakura, in her habitual bright colors.

"Scrabble?" Naruto said. "You're playing Scrabble at my wake?"

"I'll stay here," Sasuke told her.

"Oh. Um." Sakura worried her lip. "Are you alright? I have vodka," she added, like it was a panacea.

"I want vodka," Naruto said.

Sasuke said, "He never really drank," in what was hopefully a reminiscent tone.

"Yes, but we do," Sakura said. She sat down on Sasuke's other side.

They passed the bottle back and forth. Sakura had brought shot glasses. They didn't speak, and neither did Naruto.

It was eerie. Sasuke kept looking to his left, to make sure Naruto was still there.

"What are you looking at?"

Sasuke shook his head. Shit. "Nothing." He looked at her.

She was warm, and Naruto wasn't. Her eyes were bright, and green. Naruto's had been closed.

"Sasuke," Sakura said. "This is--totally inappropriate, and I shouldn't, but I'm going to kiss you."

"Oh, wow, okay, bye," Naruto said. "I'm going to watch that Scrabble game."

"Wait," Sasuke tried to say, but--

But. Sakura.

It wasn't what he wanted. She wasn't what he wanted. Still, Sasuke didn't move away. Her lips were slick with gloss. Sasuke put one hand on her hip.

"I'm sorry," Sakura said. "I'm so, so sorry."

Her breaths were uneven. Sasuke brushed her tears away with his thumb. He said, "Yeah," and let her tug off his shirt.

He pushed her down. She was soft under him, and hot. Her skin was smooth. Naruto was in the other room, watching people play Scrabble, listening to his favorite CDs, and he was dead.

Sasuke kissed Sakura's neck, and gave in.

-

Sasuke woke up.

He said, "Fuck," and rolled over. There was a glass of water next to his bed, pinning a scrap of paper.

I'm out buying breakfast. - S

"Fuck," Sasuke said again. "Naruto, what time is it?"

No answer, of course. He probably hadn't come back into the room. Sasuke would have to apologize later.

He imagined it: I'm sorry for getting drunk and having sex with your almost-girlfriend at your wake.

Maybe not.

Sakura had closed the windows. Sasuke opened them again. He was used to the insects by now.

He showered and dressed. The living room was trashed. The stereo was still going; Sasuke turned it off. There were blankets and pillows were someone had probably slept. Sakura had probably kicked everyone out.

The game of Scrabble was on the floor. Sasuke didn't think FRANKALMOIGN was a word.

"Naruto?" he called.

Not in the kitchen, either. Not in the living room. And he hadn't been in the bedroom.

"Hey."

"Na--"

No, it wasn't.

Sasuke shoved past Sakura, throwing on his flipflops. "Sasuke, where are you going?"

He ignored her. The steps clanged under him.

He was in a hurry, so he took a taxi.

He should have banned alcohol at the fucking wake.

"Wait here," he said, and thrust a bill at the driver. The man said, "Yes, yes."

Sasuke located Naruto's former home by memory. There was no elevator. The walls were bright green. Maybe Sasuke was at the wrong place.

The door was locked, of course. Sasuke stared at it. It didn't open.

"Can I help you?"

He turned around. The woman had dyed blonde hair and a low-cut shirt. "You're... Sasuke," she said.

"You're his landlord," Sasuke returned.

"Was. Why are you here?" she asked.

Sasuke said, "I was," and stopped.

"His stuff is cleared out. I'm getting the place ready for the next tenant." She looked him up and down. "But I have some of it in a box on my desk. I'm giving it to you."

Sasuke shook his head. "I wanted to see his apartment."

"I'm giving it to you," she repeated. "And it's, 'I wanted to see his apartment, please.' "

She took out a key and fitted it into a lock. "My office is on the top floor," she told him, and left. Sasuke didn't think she liked him.

Naruto's apartment was too empty.

It was tiny, too. Sasuke stood for a long moment. The bed was stripped. There was no other furniture.

He backed out and closed the door with shaking hands.

He took his time walking to the top floor. The landlord was waiting for him, with the box. It was sealed with more packing tape than strictly needed.

Sasuke picked it up. He said, "Thank you."

She crossed her arms. "He was a good kid," she said. "Reminds me of my brother. And my husband."

"I see," Sasuke managed.

She studied him. "You gave a good speech."

Sasuke already knew that. Naruto had told him so.

Naruto. His fingers tightened. He had to keep looking for Naruto.

"I... have to go," he said. "Tsunade, right?"

She nodded. Sasuke smiled tightly. It was long, long walk to the ground floor. His shoulders ached.

The taxi wasn't waiting for him. Sasuke closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. And he just flagged down another one. His hand trembled slightly, but it was just from carrying the box.

-

Sakura wasn't at her apartment, so Sasuke felt free to bang on her door and call Naruto's name. There was no answer, though a passer-by stared.

He took the elevator back down thirteen floors. Where would he search next? He'd drop by the restaurant, Naruto's favorite parks... where else?

The street where Naruto had died.

Sasuke got into the taxi. At least it hadn't run off, this time. He gave vague directions.

He put his hand on the box next to him. It was brown, and small, and full of Naruto's things. He considered dumping it.

He didn't need reminders, not with Naruto's ghost hanging around. If he could find the idiot.

Or maybe he would have to keep it, now.

"Stop here," Sasuke said.

"Sure," the driver said.

"If you wait," Sasuke said, "I'll pay double fare." He'd learned.

"Sure," the driver said, with a bit more enthusiasm.

Sasuke took the box with him, still, feeling paranoid.

When he reached the alley, it was empty except for the trash dump. There was a darker stain on the ground. Sasuke looked left, right, up, down. He called, "Naruto?"

No answer. Sasuke clutched the box to his chest.

He went back to his taxi. He wanted to tell the driver to go to the mall, where the restaurant was. Instead, he gave out his own address.

He put the box in his lap, and watched the city go by with dull eyes.

Naruto: Crown & Anchor, Chapter Eleven: Payout on Seven

Sat, 18 Jul 2009 18:14:21 GMT

Title: Crown & Anchor
Author: insteadofdeath
Pairing: Sasuke/Naruto
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,207
Summary: [AU] One Monday morning, Naruto answers the door to find one Uchiha Sasuke asking him for a date. The problem is, they've never even met before.
Notes: This fic is rapidly reaching novella-length without my permission. I'm depressed. Thanks as always to pandamneris ♥

Previous chapters here.

Crown & Anchor
by Nilladriel

Chapter Eleven: Payout on Seven

Naruto forced himself to wait three, five, eight minutes, before he leaned forward and said pleasantly, "You can drop me off at the Red Prawn."

He kept his eyes on the driver, but he didn't miss the way Sasuke's shoulders jerked.

Suigetsu turned his entire body, like he was getting ready to throw Naruto down. "What makes you think--"

"I could just jump out of the car," Naruto said.

A speed-bump half-threw them into the air, because the driver didn't slow down. "Go ahead," she said. Her red hair fit her, Naruto thought uncharitably.

"Karin." It was Sasuke, still tense. "Go to the Red Prawn."

The driver--Karin, then--didn't reply. She just kept driving. Naruto put one hand on the back of her seat. "Oi, did you hear?"

The car jerked to a stop. Naruto slammed his palms against the front seats to stop his forward motion. Suigetsu snarled, "You bitch," and then his bag dropped to the floor and he was shoving Naruto aside, reaching for Karin with outstretched fingers.

A large hand enclosed his wrist. It was the big guy; the abrupt stop had woken him up. He asked, "What's happening?" with the serene expression of someone who has cruised through life with all the ease of a bulldozer.

Suigetsu stared at him, mouth agape. Naruto could see the words lining up in his head, getting ready to be yelled out.

Karin ignored them both. She was hunched in her seat, knuckles white as she gripped the wheel. "You can't," she said, "be serious. Orochimaru said to bring him straight there--"

"So?" Sasuke asked. "It's not as if I'm working for him." His tone was nonchalant, but his arm was pressed against Naruto; he'd thrown it out in time to stop Naruto from flying. He shook his head at the stare-down in front of him. "Juugo, let him go. Suigetsu, sit back down."

They obeyed with a fluidity that unnerved Naruto. I still don't trust you, he thought, and pushed Sasuke's arm away. "That bastard has Konohamaru, doesn't he?"

Sasuke glanced at him, and then at Karin. "... Yes. We shouldn't give Orochimaru too much leverage over Sarutobi. We don't actually want him to successfuly re-establish himself."

"The Red Prawn's that way, by the way," Naruto said, and pointed.

Karin hunched even more. She was going to turn into a turtle. "I don't--"

"Drive us to the Red Prawn, Karin," Sasuke said.

The car went through a jagged u-turn. Karin needed to find a safer way to express her anger. Naruto leaned back, frowned, and looked at Sasuke. "Oi," he said. "Move your arm."

Sasuke still looked irritated. He did move his arm, but not away, shifting it so it curled around Naruto's back and pulled him closer. Which hadn't been what Naruto meant, but whatever. He watched the city go by, easy-as-you-please, completely unaware of everything that had happened.

The big guy had gone straight back to sleep, which gave the entire situation a surreal edge of normalcy. Naruto felt like he was floating, like he was going to suddenly wake up and someone was going to say, It was all a dream.

Karin whispered something, a certain word with a sibilant s and a hard, damning t. Naruto ignored her.

He wished someone would turn on the radio, but Karin was too immersed in jerking the car left and right, and looking gleeful as she cut around slow drivers. He decided not to bother her.

"Where would you have taken me?" he asked Sasuke, figuring awkward conversation was better than awkward silence.

"To my house, first," Sasuke said. "To drop the team off. Then to Orochimaru."

"I didn't know you live here," Naruto said.

"I don't. It's a vacation home."

Naruto pulled himself up. Sasuke's arm stayed where it was. "You own a vacation home."

Sasuke grunted. "Suigetsu. Give Naruto the spare shoes."

"You even brought spare shoes?" Naruto asked, watching Suigetsu zip open his bag. Tools clanked, muffled by folds of cloth.

"Yeah." Suigetsu snorted. "Details man. That's me."

"I was the one who," Karin started, and then: "Urgh. Never mind."

The shoes were white, and too big, especially without socks. "Whose are these, anyway?" Naruto asked.

"Mine," Sasuke said.

"We're here," Karin announced loudly, and immediately.

Sasuke got out of the car first, and then Naruto. Except Sasuke didn't get back in and leave. He said, "I'm going in with you."

"What are you, my babysitter?" Naruto demanded, even as he walked past the dry fountain. "I don't need--oh, shit, what is she doing here?"

Sasuke moved with Naruto--towards the wall and out of sight, at least from the people inside. Naruto peeked surreptitiously, or at least as much as a person with a full head of blond hair could. Sasuke gestured; like magic, the car reversed. It disappeared around the corner.

"Who is that?" Sasuke asked.

"Mitarashi Anko," Naruto said. "She's worked for Sarutobi for... ever since I could remember. She's probably looking for me."

"You're hiding from her," Sasuke said, suddenly king of the obvious. "So Sarutobi really did lock you up."

Naruto pulled back to stare at Sasuke. "What? Isn't that why you warned me?" he said.

"No." Sasuke was stepping away from the wall, probably looking for another way in. "I was more worried about Orochimaru."

"Oh, you mean the man you were very obviously defending yourself from on the phone," Naruto said.

"Listen to me--I never meant," Sasuke said, "to let Orochimaru lay even a finger on you."

Naruto listened. He had to, because Sasuke had pushed him into the wall. His shoulder ached, still complaining about the sorry attempt to force down the door. Sasuke's fingers spasmed, as if he'd just realized what he'd done.

"O-kay," Naruto said, carefully.

"I--" Sasuke shook his head. "Orochimaru is here. In Wave. And looking for you." Obviously remembering Anko, Sasuke stepped back and crouched behind wayward bushes. His hair blended in with the twisting branches.

Naruto just dropped down to his elbows beside him and let Sasuke do the watching. "Why? He has Konohamaru, doesn't he? What's he need me for?"

"I don't--ah," Sasuke said. "That woman's leaving."

"Good. I'm not in winter clothes. Don't take off your jacket," Naruto added snappishly, even as Sasuke's hand went to the zipper.

Sasuke's lips thinned, like he was trying to make them disappear. "Fine. Wait a bit," he said. Naruto ignored the dash of vindication in the other man's tone.

"She's heading towards the parking lot," Sasuke reported, and then: "Move, before her car swings around and she sees us."

They didn't run, but it wasn't really a walk. "We're only going to the lobby--"

"No. The bathroom," Sasuke said. "Otherwise she'll see us through the windows. Idiot."

"I'm not an--"

Sasuke pulled the door to the restroom open. Naruto ducked inside before Sasuke could shove him in.

"Hey!" Naruto said. "There's a toilet here. And you--just locked the door. Wow, this probably looks really suspicious."

"We'll wait ten minutes."

"Yeah. Really suspicious," Naruto said, and sat on the toilet. "So Orochimaru really has Konohamaru, huh. How the hell did that happen? Last I heard, his bodyguards were all over him."

Sasuke leaned against the wall and crossed his arms, looking cool and unaffected, except he was in a restroom. "What if he doesn't?"

"What?" But Naruto had been so sure, so ready to demand. "Who else would?"

"You said it yourself," Sasuke said. "If he has Konohamaru, why would he be so desperate to get you?"

"He is? And who the hell else would have him, anyway?" Naruto bit out.

"I think...."

"Huh?" Naruto looked up. Sasuke pushed off the wall and stood in front of him, placing his hand on Naruto's neck. His skin was warm. "Sasuke? What are you--"

Sasuke's fingers curled around black string and drew out a necklace--the birthday necklace. That day seemed an eternity ago. "Do you know who sent you this?" he asked.

"No fucking idea," Naruto said.

"Hm. I think I do." Sasuke didn't move, not noticing or caring how close they were. "Your father worked for a syndicate headed by the legendary three."

"Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru," Naruto said. "And your family worked to bring them down. And then shit went to hell, right here in this city, and they disappeared."

Sasuke looked surprised. "How did you...?"

"I asked," Naruto said.

Sasuke snorted. "Actually, my family initially worked with the three," he said, bitter. "It was profitable. But my brother disagreed. He started leaking information on them. He had to stop, though."

"Yeah?"

Sasuke still hadn't moved away; his fingers were idly rubbing against the necklace, so that Naruto saw glints of light at the edges of his vision. Sasuke's other hand had found its way to Naruto's shoulder.

Sasuke hesitated. "It's how I came to live with you and your father."

"You mean, he kidnapped you so your brother would behave." Naruto took in a deep, shuddering breath. The room smelled foul, with an overlaying coat of citrus. "Shit."

"Five years. My brother searched for five years," Sasuke said. "But he couldn't win against Namikaze, not when finding me would mean finding you. So he asked Sarutobi for a favor."

The world numbed. "The raid," Naruto breathed, and thought: Ah. That's why.

"Right," Sasuke said. "The point is, it isn't just Orochimaru who might hold a grudge against Sarutobi. It's all three of them. And either I'm dreaming, or this is the necklace that... you're not listening." He dropped the necklace.

"Tell me about the raid," Naruto said.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Why?"

"Just tell me, you ass."

"Fine." There was no hesitation in Sasuke's voice, no uncertainty, but he was kneading the flesh of Naruto's shoulder with restless fingers. "Sarutobi and his men found the house we lived in. They staged a raid and retrieved me. In the ensuing chaos, your father died. And Itachi... my brother was free to cripple the legendary three. Rather than face arrest, they fled."

"Sarutobi," Naruto said. "He... what did Sarutobi gain from the raid?"

"Well, the legendary three were threatening his power base," Sasuke said doubtfully. "So it was probably fortuitous for him that your father died."

"Right. Fortuitous," Naruto said, and laughed. He leaned forward, pressing his face against Sasuke's torso. "Right. Oh, shit."

Sasuke's fingers stopped moving. "Naruto?"

"Oh, shit," Naruto repeated. "It wasn't a favor, you dipshit."

"What are you--"

"Ensuing chaos, my ass," Naruto said. "Sarutobi didn't go to that house just for you, Sasuke."

Naruto turned his head, pressed his cheek against the smooth material of Sasuke's jacket. It was impossible, but he imagined he could hear the bastard's heartbeat anyway, through layers of muscle and skin and cloth. He said, "It wasn't a favor. It was a deal. Sarutobi went to that house to blow my Dad's face off.

"Because that was it, right?

"That was the killing blow to the legendary three."

Naruto's voice died off. He'd been yelling. The echoes were still trapped in the enclosed space, hemmed in by faded tile and stained walls.

"I didn't," Sasuke started. At least he shut himself up. He said, "Your hands are shaking." Naruto felt Sasuke shift down, until he was kneeling in front of Naruto.

"No they're not," Naruto said. Sasuke just snorted, brushing his lips across the joints of Naruto's fingers.

"Did you see it happen?" Sasuke asked. He didn't let Naruto pull his hands away, fanning the fingers out and holding them gently, studying each centimeter and minute tremble.

"Yeah," Naruto said. "You know, I rushed him." He chuckled. "I mean. He'd just--he'd just shot my Dad, and I just jumped out and rushed him. Called him a fucking old bastard."

He looked down at their entwined digits. His breaths were shallow and light. "I haven't told anyone this," Naruto said.

"I heard the gunshot," Sasuke said. "From the car."

"I saw it," Naruto returned. "You know, he looked so surprised afterwards. That old man."

"He probably hadn't expected you," Sasuke said. Their hands dropped to Naruto's thighs; Sasuke leaned in, serious and frowning. "I told you, your father was amazing. No one knew you existed."

"Just so you know," Naruto said, "that doesn't make me feel better."

Sasuke tilted his head up. Naruto's grip tightened; Sasuke's breath was warm against his lips. And then it was just heat, and pressure, and a tongue moving against his own. Then Sasuke exhaled and leaned back, looking regretful.

"That didn't, either," Naruto said. He pressed their foreheads together. Sasuke's bangs got in the way.

"We should go," Sasuke said.

"Right," Naruto said hoarsely. Neither of them moved. The room was small. The passing time didn't at all lessen the impact of that horrible, tangy smell. They were in a motherfucking toilet, in a hotel, in a city that held both Orochimaru and Sarutobi.

Still. Naruto felt safe. He felt safer than he had in--too long.

He moved forward, and kissed Sasuke again.

They fell back. Sasuke landed on his ass; Naruto followed him, knees thudding painfully onto the floor. It was slippery. Naruto didn't want to know why. Sasuke stared past him, maybe at some stain on the ceiling, and said, "That fucking hurt--you are not pushing me down."

"Why not?" Naruto said, already zipping open Sasuke's jacket. "It's just water. Probably."

Sasuke was still staring up at the ceiling, even as Naruto slipped a hand underneath his shirt. Naruto had forgotten how different guys were from girls: soft and hard at the same time, sharp angles covered by smooth skin.

It was good, though. It was better than letting the memories swallow him up.

He could almost hear that gunshot.

"You're doing it again," Sasuke said suddenly. Naruto just settled himself on Sasuke's lap, shrugging. "Like on that day you were followed."

"This?" Naruto said, and bent down to lick Sasuke's neck.

He was stopped by a hand on his chest. Sasuke was staring at him, eyes cold, like the weather outside. "Not here," Sasuke said.

Naruto stared back. Sasuke's hand didn't give.

"Fine," he said.

"Good," Sasuke said, and pushed himself up, catching Naruto completely by surprise. It was open-mouthed, and wet, and messy, and for that moment--for just a moment--Naruto forgot where he was, and where he'd been.

-

"You!"

Naruto closed the door behind them, and looked up into an accusing finger. "Er?" he said.

"You're room 17! Right?" The receptionist's eyes flittled between them. "The one they keep asking about!"

Naruto's stomach sank, taking the rest of his insides with it. "What?"

"Yeah!" The man looked far too excited. "That woman just now was asking if I'd seen you. I said no, of course," he said loyally.

"But... you hadn't seen me," Naruto said.

"And last night! Wow. That second group looked pretty pissed, though. Oh, but I told 'em no, too, of course, I ain't never seen you, or even set eyes on you, I was good."

"But," Naruto said, "you really hadn't ever seen me. I've never met you before."

The receptionist seemed to prefer his own version of events. "So? What're you in trouble for? I bet it's money, right? It's always money."

Naruto pressed his palm against his eyes. "Look. Could you just... give me a copy of my room key? I just want to get my luggage and get out of here."

"Sure! Sure, you want to move quickly, right, because--"

"Yes, yes, I'm on the run, lucky me. Just give me the key," Naruto said. "And stop watching TV, or reading books, or whatever it is that's gotten you this strange."

"Oh! But you'll need to pay for the room," the man added, temporarily leaving the dramatic soap playing through his head. "Even if you have to save up the money, you know, to pay off those buff-looking guys. 'Cause otherwise I get in trouble, see."

At least he looked a bit regretful.

"I'll pay," Sasuke said. "You get your stuff." Naruto almost protested, before remembering the suite at at the Millenium, and the apparent vacation house. Then he just shrugged.

While Sasuke made his wallet useful, Naruto went upstairs to the room. He slid in the key and opened the heavy door. The bed was made; the curtains flapped, gently.

Something was wrong.

Nothing happened when he walked in, though. No one jumped him. The room was dreadfully cheerful, with the obnoxious welcome! slid under the glass top of the vanity.

Naruto packed. He checked each drawer in the room, went through the closet, the bathroom--made sure he left nothing behind, like an ordinary traveler checking out of a hotel. Everything was as he'd left it, except for whatever room service had cleaned up.

Naruto opened up his luggage. Everything was messy and out of place. Normal, then. He zipped everything up and headed out.

Sasuke wasn't waiting for him in the lobby; he was interrogating the poor receptionist instead. Naruto sighed.

"How many?" Sasuke was saying. "And when?"

At this, the receptionist hesitated. "Um," he said. "They told me not to say."

Naruto rolled his eyes and shoved Sasuke aside. "You're useless," he said.

"I just," Sasuke growled, "paid for your room."

"Right, thanks," Naruto said. "You"--he glanced at the guy's nametag--"Koji, you obviously suck at keeping secrets. So, how many people came looking for me, when, and what did they look like?"

"I do not suck at keeping secrets," Koji said, looking sulky. "Look, late at night this chick came in, asking to get into Room 17. Emi was totally freaked. Well, so was I, she was real threatening. And then, get this, this entire group came in and the chick just said, 'Nevermind,' and she left."

"The group," Sasuke said. "What did they look like?"

"Um, there was this fat-ass, some guy with purple nails...." Koji trailed off. Sasuke radiated fury.

"How many were there?" he hissed.

"Five? Six? Look, I don't know--"

Sasuke leaned forward.

"Six!" Koji yelped. "Six, okay?"

Well. At least he finally understood it wasn't all fun and games. "Leave him alone, Sasuke," Naruto said.

"Could I have some mo--"

"No," Naruto and Sasuke snapped at the same time.

"Sure," Koji said. "Sure, absolutely." He took one step back. Naruto just picked up his things.

They went back out into the biting cold. Sasuke pulled out a cell phone.

"Thanks for dropping me off," Naruto said lamely.

"Where are you going?" Sasuke asked.

"Um. I have no idea." Naruto said.

"You could--" Sasuke tried.

"Just because we made out in a hotel bathroom, and you broke me out of the house, you think I trust you enough to come with you?" Naruto said.

Sasuke turned his cellphone over in his hand. "Yes?"

"Fine, okay," Naruto said, and sighed. "Go ahead and call the car. I'll follow you. You'll have to wait for a bit, though," he added. "Anko took my keys, so I'm gonna have to hotwire my own car."

Sasuke, cellphone half-way to his ear, stopped. "You know how to hotwire a car."

"Yes?" Naruto said. It was useful, so of course he knew.

"If we hadn't come," Sasuke said, slowly, "do you think you would have broken out of Sarutobi's mansion on your own? Eventually?"

"What's with that 'eventually'?" Naruto huffed. He walked towards the parking lot. "I'll meet you up front, okay?"

Sasuke remembered to close his mouth. His jaw cracked. "Okay," he said.

artdump

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:59:17 GMT

I sent in my extra submission for the sn_exchange. Didn't do as much as I wanted with it, but HOLY SHIT does it feel good to be done >>

More importantly, have some art. This batch is really mixed, LOL. And contains the promised SaiNaru fanart. Finally. Yeah. I have more, I'm just... really... really... really lazy to fix it up and chug it beyond messy scribble sketches.

Since we didn't see the sexy no jutsu last chapter. Or something. No, I really just wanted to draw a half-naked Naruko, okay.

Based on chapter 455. It totally happened. Okay.

"So you really do have a--"
"SHUT. UP."

naruto 456 + bakuman 46 + malaysia sucking + next bit of Being Dead

Thu, 16 Jul 2009 19:21:18 GMT

Naruto 456: Oh, Sai. ♥ ♥ ♥

"Damn it! Yours is so much sexier!"

You can't win against a master, Konohamaru.

-

Bakuman 46: I fucking love Azuki. That is all. Even despite Ohba&Obata's known fail for writing females. I don't care.

I mean, really? "Cause I'm a guy?" O right, girls don't know the importance of hard work, and never prize their dreams as much as men. (Didn't Mashiro's Dad say, men have dreams women don't understand? Something like that? Yeah. Fuck that. All those girls I knew, like Brigid, Elena, or Sam, who sacrificed so much and worked so hard to be successful? They don't exist.)

This page = ♥. "Where's your macho ''cause I'm a guy' now?" Oh, Azuki.

-

So. BD. I desperately need to rewrite this entire section, because, wow, the angst. Also it just sucks.

I don't have the energy for it tonight, though. Malaysia is pissing me the fuck off. Who knows if the MACC is really responsible for Teo's death? ffs I'm just disgusted by all the finger pointing. Get evidence first, please. Let the police fucking investigate. Every time there's a scandal, there's political parties pointing to other political parties screaming, THEY DID IT.

I'm sick of it.

anyway *cough* Sorry about that. here's the next section of Being Dead, and wow, that title gets lamer every time I type it out. anyway. Yes. my horrible mood might have just leaked into this one sry

o well, it's an early draft, w/e.

Stuff to do:
- ground the setting
- provide more bg on the sasusaku
- provide more bg on the sasunaru too lawl
- hurry up and get part 1 done why is it dragging on so long ew.
- work on sn_e submission instead of this fic oh oops lol fail.

Sasuke was acting weird.

Naruto was pretending he hadn't heard him throw up last night. It wasn't hard, since Sasuke was avoiding him. Not that they'd ever interacted much.

It was his first time properly exploring Sasuke's apartment. There was a bathroom, a bedroom, a kitchen, and even a living room. To Naruto, it was huge. The living room even had a flat-screen TV. Naruto said, "Cool," and went to find Sasuke.

Who was shrugging on a dark gray shirt to match with darker jeans. "Where are you going?" Naruto said.

"To meet with Sakura," Sasuke admitted.

Oh. "Are you guys going out now?" Naruto asked.

Sasuke shoved his wallet into his pocket and didn't answer. Naruto shrugged and said, "Could you turn on the TV?"

"You're not coming?" Sasuke said. He looked surprised, and slightly hurt.

"No," Naruto said. The word came out flat. "Turn on the TV."

"I thought," Sasuke started, but he didn't finish the sentence. He went through the apartment first, opening all the doors, before he turned on the TV.

After he left, Naruto sat on the back of the couch and stared blankly at the screen while Jerry kicked Tom's ass again. Sasuke and Sakura, he thought. Sakura and Sasuke.

He should've went with Sasuke. The apartment was suddenly too big, and too empty. He didn't belong here. He was aware of a slow, creeping discomfort, one that froze his limbs and slowed his thoughts.

Sasuke. He had to find Sasuke.

How far away could the bastard be? Naruto scrambled to the kitchen, to the sink, and out of the apartment. A too-awake neighborhood greeted him: a group of mothers on the corner, wholly unfamiliar. Young children on the pavement, drawing with chalk. Their faces were all alien.

Naruto glided from streetlight to dead streetlight, looking for familiar, spiky hair. Where could he have...?

Sakura's place, maybe.

It was easy to travel down the highway now. He didn't dodge one car fast enough; there was a strange, blurred moment and Naruto thought: That thing just went straight through me, didn't it?

He didn't let himself think about what it meant, that he could go through objects--that objects could go through him--because so far he'd been good at keeping up the illusion that they couldn't.

Sakura lived in a village, like Naruto. It was just off the highway and part of an increasing, and not entirely legal, sprawl. There were three lines of stalls always selling food, and clothes, and cheap toys.

Just past it the bazaar was Sakura's apartment building. Too impatient to find openings, Naruto just walked up the wall to her floor and clambered onto the balcony.

And--

--they were kissing. Sakura and Sasuke were kissing. Sakura was holding a tea cup in one hand, and the other was buried in Sasuke's messy hair. It was frantic, and desperate.

The two of them were as strange and alien as Sasuke's empty house, as Sasuke's neighborhood. Naruto scratched the back of his head and tried a sheepish laugh (oops, what did I stumble in on?) but it didn't feel real.

He dropped back off the balcony, down thirteen floors, and landed on the roof of someone selling poffertjes.

He felt lost, like he'd been just after death. Maybe he really wasn't haunting Sasuke. Maybe he was just desperate for a place to be, for a place to go.

"I could always go home," Naruto said, and stared out at a crowd of busy people, none of which could see him.

-

Naruto found himself locked out.

Then he remembered: I'm a ghost. Holy shit, I'm a ghost, and he just slid through the window and past the curtains.

His bedroom looked exactly the same. The bathroom wasn't even a bathroom at all, just a tiny, tiled room where Naruto had squeezed in a big container. He'd had to get the water from a tap outside. On colder nights, he'd heated it, one kettle at a time.

His plants were already suffering. Naruto felt sorry for them. It looked like his landlord hadn't come by. She was a distracted lady, blonde and busty, with a picture of two men on her desk. They'd never visited.

Naruto sat on the bed.

He'd never wake up here anymore, never listen to crappy early-morning shows while he brushed his teeth with a brush he should've replaced months ago, never eat ramen on a wobbly desk-chair, never lean out the window and watch the village children play with fireworks.

He should go back. He should go back to Sasuke's apartment. But he didn't want to. Not if Sasuke wasn't going to be there.

"You're a ghost," Sasuke had said, and then he'd thrown up. It'd been disgusting.

Would anyone else have? Would anyone else have cared enough?

Naruto leaned back on the bed, and--

--wondered.

-

-

Sasuke came home to an empty apartment.

He searched through each room methodically, even checking the ceilings and opening the built-ins. Naruto wasn't hiding anywhere, and he wasn't watching TV.

Sasuke turned it off. He switched of all the lights as well. No blond idiot emerged to protest. The apartment was unfailingly quiet. Sasuke grit his teeth and made sure all the windows were open.

It was quiet before, Sasuke thought, and then: Yes, but this is different.

He had to get ready for work. Today was his shortest shift. That was good, because Sakura--

"Shit," Sasuke said, and turned on the shower. He had no idea what he was doing. He had no idea what they were doing.

He wasn't even sure what he meant by "they."

When Sasuke got out of the bathroom, Naruto was there. Sasuke still couldn't look at the blond's chest. He said, "Where were you?"

"Why'd you turn off the TV?" Naruto said.

"You weren't watching," Sasuke said. "Because you weren't here."

"Yeah," Naruto said. "Yeah, I went home."

Sasuke raised his towel, rubbed at his hair. He didn't know how to reply.

Naruto asked, "What's going to happen to my stuff, you think?"

"I don't know." The reply was short. "Do you want--"

"Nah. I never had much, anyway." Naruto hugged his legs, looking vulnerable in a world that couldn't harm him anymore. "I'm following you to work."

"I'm going to Sakura's, after."

"So you are--"

"We're not," Sasuke decided. "She just... I...." Shit. He dropped the towel in the hamper. "I'm not trying to take her away from you."

"Doesn't really matter if you do," Naruto said.

His bitter town made Sasuke look up sharply. Naruto was smiling, and he was looking out the window.

"She's just trying to deal with it," Sasuke said. "She's trying to deal with you."

"So you're the rebound guy? Man." Naruto unfolded himself, watching a bit enviously as Sasuke put on his clothes. He was probably sick of walking around in a bloodied shirt.

"No," Sasuke said. "I'm trying to deal with you, too."

"... What?"

"Forget it. You wouldn't get it," Sasuke said.

Naruto gaped. "Hell no! You can't just say shit like that and leave."

"Why not? I have work," Sasuke said. "I have to earn money, and pay my bills, I have a living to earn--"

He stopped. Naruto was standing in front of the door, arms crossed.

His feet weren't touching the floor, as if his body was remembering less and less how to interact with the world. Sasuke felt his keys drop from suddenly limp fingers.

"Deal with what?" Naruto said, softly.

Sasuke pressed his palm against his temple. He breathed in, out. It didn't help. So he sat down instead, resigned to being late. "I'm allowed to mourn you, too!"

"But," Naruto said, "I'm right here."

"But you could leave," Sasuke said. "You could leave me anytime."

"I'm here," Naruto said. "I'm haunting you."

"That's not what I meant," Sasuke said. "I mean... there's nothing keeping you here. It's not a guarantee." He pressed his lips together, merging them into a flat, disappointed line. "Nevermind. You don't get it. You don't fucking get it!"

"Why are you getting so mad, damn it?"

"Shut up!"

"Fucking fine, if you want me to shut up so badly, I'll just go and--"

"No."

"... What the fuck, Sasuke."

"Don't go," Sasuke said tiredly. "Please."

"I was," Naruto said, "only going to the other room."

"Just sit here," Sasuke said. His head sank down, pillowed by thin arms on thin shoulders. "Just. Sit. Please."

"O... kay," Naruto said. Sasuke didn't hear him move, but when he turned his head, Naruto was there, looking confused but. Not going anywhere. Just--staying with him. And he needed that, he needed the idiot to never leave.

He'd just call in sick. He was a terrible waiter, anyway.

-

What Sasuke discovered was that planning funerals wasn't much easier when the dead person in question was helping.

"But I don't want flowers," Naruto said.

"Fine," Sasuke said. It would save money, anyway. He'd been looking into orange flowers--everything from asiatic lilies to roses to gerberas. Nevermind.

He'd decide on the venue by the end of the week. No churches. No grand halls. His mind kept conjuring open-air places: beaches, lakes, parks. He made a note.

Naruto hovered. "I could get buried in ramen!" he suggested.

"You... no," Sasuke said, and stared down at the papers strewn about the table. The wake... it would have to be at home. They'd play Naruto's favorite music. First he'd have to ask Naruto what his favorite music was.

"Why not? It would be--"

Sasuke slammed his palm against the table, and then hissed when the sting shot his arm. "Shut up," he said. "You're getting cremated."

"What, you're sending me through an incinerator?" Naruto said. "That's cool."

"Not you," Sasuke said. "Your body."

It was important to stress the difference.

"Yeah, okay," Naruto said. He was grinning. "Hey, are you going to make a speech?"

"Do you want me to make a speech?" Sasuke asked wearily.

"Sure. It'd be funny, seeing you talk all grand while I--"

"Okay," Sasuke said. "Okay. I'll do it."

Naruto blinked. "Sasuke? Why d'you look so--"

"Nothing." Sasuke scraped the chair back. "I'm going to get dinner."

"You should eat ramen," Naruto encouraged. "It's good for you!"

"Shut up," Sasuke said.

more of Being Dead

Wed, 15 Jul 2009 18:28:17 GMT

Previous section is here. I desperately want to change this fic's title. I'm considering That Boy I Knew, Gravity and Living With. (yes yes, I know, they all sound equally retarded, shut up.)

is it just me, or is this fic kind of depressing? Oops.

Anyway. Now that the fic's a bit lengthier and sort of going past the ooo shiny premise stage, i would welcome any thoughts, criticisms, even stuff like IMAAN THERE IS A GLARING AND OBVIOUS TYPO HERE YOU IDIOT, FIX IT NAO. especially if i Get Shit Wrong. I'm not a confident writer so i'm not above begging for input, haha.

Naruto couldn't watch. He didn't want to watch.

He watched the two of them anyway, through the floor-to-ceiling glass walls of the restaurant. Other people looked, too. They were probably wondering what was up.

Naruto was wondering too, actually. Sasuke was speaking with the manager; then the two were leaving. Sasuke had to pull Sakura along, as if she'd forgotten how to walk.

Naruto was fine on his perch, until Sasuke's spiky hair disappeared from sight. Then he wanted to follow along, too.

It was afternoon, and the mall was beginning to swell with people looking for lunch. Naruto kept his eyes straight ahead, on the back of Sasuke's shirt.

He remembered himself, and looked at Sakura instead.

They went up to the highest floor. It was mostly deserted. Naruto stepped off the escalator and stood by the posts. Sasuke sat Sakura down on the bench.

They were talking. Or at least, Sakura was talking, and Sasuke was listening. Naruto couldn't see his face, but Sasuke's body language screamed concentration. He was half-bent over her. It looked like they were about to kiss.

"You never pay attention to me," Naruto said.

Obviously, neither heard. Naruto turned around to look at a line of flat-screen TVs.

He couldn't go inside; there was a glass door in his way, and he couldn't move anything. He couldn't really feel things, either, as if his ghost-body respected barriers but not texture.

His mind remembered, though. Naruto pressed his palm flat against the door and thought, This is glass. It's smooth and cold.

When he turned around, Sasuke was gone.

His first instinct was panic. He couldn't be too far from the bastard--who knew why, but it wasn't an option, dammit. Then he saw Sakura, sitting huddled on the bunch. Her elbows were on her knees.

Naruto hesitated. He walked towards her and knelt, looking up at her bowed head. She was crying. Her shoulders were mostly still but Naruto could hear the hitches in her breath.

He said, "I'm sorry."

He said, "I never meant to make you sad."

He said, "I'm really happy you're crying for me, though."

Sakura didn't reply.

So he said, "I think I was almost in love with you."

"Oi!"

It was Sasuke. He was looking at Naruto, and holding coffee cups in his hands. Naruto stared blankly, until he remembered that Sasuke didn't like him nearby.

He scrambled up and away. Sasuke nodded at him, a thank you, and then sat down by Sakura.

Watching Sakura cry, Naruto couldn't help it. It was suddenly important. He had to say it, had to ask, he had to--

"Do I get a funeral?"

Sasuke paled.

-

There was a cop at the restaurant when they got back. He had a cool uniform, although everybody looked like they wished he would piss off.

"Whoah. His scar makes him look like a pirate," Naruto said.

Sasuke snorted. His hand was entwined with Sakura's. Not that Naruto was looking.

"I'd rather... could we go somewhere else?" Sakura said.

Sasuke said, "No. We should help the police find who's responsible."

"I don't really care, though," Naruto told Sasuke's back. "It doesn't matter."

"It matters to me," Sasuke replied, and Sakura said, "Oh. Alright, then."

So Naruto wandered around the shop while Sasuke stayed in the back. He told off customers and yelled at a disrespectful couple. A few kids had obviously seen the cop and were interrogating weary parents. Naruto berated them, too.

Did the questioning really have to take this long? Naruto was getting bored.

He discovered he could, with great concentration, walk on walls. It was cool.

"Stop that!"

"What's with you? It's not like anyone can see--oh, you're yelling at the kids," Naruto said. He jumped across the tabletops.

Sasuke rubbed his arms and said, "This is a restaurant, not a playground. Where are your parents?"

"They're at table 17," Naruto said. "What took you so long? When are we going home?"

Sasuke couldn't answer. Naruto went back up the walls and watched the black-haired man scold the parents, just like Naruto had a few minutes ago. He grinned.

-

-

No one said anything when Sasuke announced he was leaving early.

He couldn't say, I'm taking Naruto home because he's pissing me off.

He couldn't even say it to Naruto, so he said instead: "I asked the police officer, and he said that since you have no family, they could probably release your body to me."

"What?" said Naruto. "Speak louder, man."

Sasuke looked left, right, and ran across the highway. He jumped over the barricade. "Walk closer, then."

"You said it got cold," Naruto said. He didn't look left or right. He didn't have to.

"It's not real," Sasuke said. "It can't be real, since no one else notices."

"No one else notices me," Naruto said. "Do you think I'm real?"

Sasuke nearly missed the words, because they were quiet and Naruto hadn't moved closer. He turned around to glare. "I'm having a fucking conversation with you!" he yelled.

Naruto couldn't have heard, because a truck flew by, drowning them in noise and fumes. The idiot grinned anyway and drifted closer.

"I'll get them to release your body to me," Sasuke said, once he was close enough. He walked down the road that led to home. "Since you wanted a funeral."

"Wait, really?"

Sasuke shouldn't have looked. When he did, he noticed it wasn't cold at all, and that there was a bruise on Naruto's cheek. He said, "Yes. I'm good at arranging funerals," and his lips twisted. He looked away.

He'd have to make a lot of calls. He wondered if Naruto would mind a cremation. Coffins were expensive.

And--

--the thought of having one Naruto underground, slowly rotting, while another was walking right beside him--

--it wasn't right.

-

He woke up that night to see Naruto on the ceiling.

He was dreaming. But Naruto really was a ghost, and he'd been--walking on walls.

Not a dream, then. But the moment felt like a dream, with everything muted and blue. Sasuke said, "Oi, come down."

Naruto did, floating down like a feather.

No. Like a ghost.

"What?" Naruto said, annoyed.

Sasuke sorted through the questions in his head, like cards. "How did you die?"

"Huh?" Naruto's expression was odd. "Why do you want to know?"

"Because," Sasuke lied, "if the police know what happened--"

"Why are you so fixated on finding out who killed me?" Naruto stretched his arms above his head. He was close, but Sasuke felt no body heat.

"It's important," Sasuke said.

"No it isn't," Naruto said. "I'm the one who got a knife stuck through my chest, right? Listen to me."

"It is," Sasuke said, thinking of his parents, his brother, all those questions without answers.

Naruto ignored him. "Anyway, I got stabbed. I don't remember much other than that, though. Oh, but," he added, "it wasn't a mugging. He didn't take my wallet or anything. Maybe he was bored. And afterwards it was kind of.... Nevermind."

Sasuke wanted to laugh. Instead he said, "I wonder if I can touch you."

"That's disgusting," Naruto said immediately.

"No, I mean--"

Sasuke reached out. He put his palm on Naruto's cheek, where the bruise was. Probably from when he'd fallen. After the--after being stabbed.

Naruto wasn't hot or cold, or hard or soft. He wasn't anything. Sasuke traced his hand with his eyes, saw it slide down Naruto's neck, his shoulders, to rest at his ruined chest. He didn't feel any of it.

"Why did you die?" he whispered.

"Bad luck," Naruto answered.

Sasuke had been so sure Naruto was real. He wasn't anymore. He said, "Why are you haunting me? Why not Sakura?"

"Well, I was kind of in love with her," Naruto said, staring up at the ceiling as if nothing was wrong. "But she wouldn't deserve that."

"And I do?"

"Well... yeah," Naruto said, and then: "Bastard."

Sasuke's gaze dropped. He said, "Moron," and reached for the buttons on Naruto's shirt.

It opened. He hadn't actually expected that.

He studied the wound with his fingertips, and with his eyes. It was so much smaller than he'd imagined. Yet. The sight of it had him frozen.

No. No, it was Naruto, emanating the cold again. Sasuke pulled his hand away. "Sorry," he breathed. "Could you--go to the other side of the room?"

"What? Hey, you said you were okay with--"

"Just go," Sasuke said, and pulled the sheets over his face. He felt like throwing up again.

Naruto said, "Fuck you." He stayed on the bed.

"How long?" Sasuke said. His voice was muffled. "How long did it take you to die?"

"I... what?"

"The wallet. You said he didn't take your wallet. And you mentioned 'afterwards.' You were conscious, then. For how long?"

Sasuke heard a chuckle, like the conversation was funny. "Not long at all!"

He was lying. He was obviously lying. Sasuke got up and went towards the bathroom.

"Oi, Sasuke--"

"Shut up! I'm allowed to piss!" Sasuke snapped, and closed the door. He stayed there for a long time, with his hand over his mouth.

The knife had probably perforated his lung, unless Naruto was a dextrocardiac. Even if he was a dextrocardiac. So--how long? How long had Naruto lied there, dying, with no one nearby, no one to help? Had he called out? Had he even been able to?

How long?

Sasuke sank in front of the toilet and hugged the sides, and did his business as quietly as possible, and hated the way the question stayed, and stayed, and stayed.

How long?

How long had it taken for Naruto to die?

this fic now comes with a title

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 14:56:35 GMT

Today I sat down and said, Imaan, you have to get the next chapter of C&A done, you're halfway there, you can do it! So I decided, okay, I'll write 2,000 words. That's easy!

Except, remember the ficlet I just posted? Yeah, I ended up writing 2k words for that instead. And then I went back and edited it a bit. By the way, it has a title now--Being Dead.

(yes i still suck at titles shhhhh)

My style is already sparse. I think it's even worse for this fic. ahahaha. i usually aim to cut my wordcount down (I trimmed this from 2.5k to... 1.7k) but now I think i actually have to add description back into this thing. I mean it's like a skeleton. A skeleton on a diet.

btw as usual I wrote an outline but then ignored it completely so. I can't envision this thing spanning more than 3 parts though. I might even cut it down to a two-shot. (It must have at least 2 parts, ok, there is a cliff-hanger i want to write and torture people with ok.)

Being Dead

Naruto knew immediately that he was dead.

He picked himself up and looked down at the body he'd left behind. There was a lot less blood than all those horror movies suggested there would be.

He remembered being stabbed--remembered the horrible ghthhk of the knife as it tore through his chest. He didn't want to remember the part that came after. Dying had hurt. Being stabbed hadn't. It had just been a shock, a moment defined by what the fuck and no way and this isn't happening.

Sakura was going to be mad at him for standing her up.

He looked down the street. Everything was wet and glossy, because of the rain. It was very quiet, and very dark. The trash dump nearby probably smelled worse than Naruto.

Well. Worse than his ex-body.

There was nothing else to do but walk away. Naruto had always been good at going forwards and not looking back.

Still. He couldn't help that last glance before he stepped out of the alley.

-

-

It was near eleven, and Sasuke was heading home. He didn't normally work through the dinner crowd, but Sakura had called and begged. Apparently Naruto had skipped three days, and if no one covered for the moron, he would have been fired.

Sasuke still wasn't sure Sakura had really called him for Naruto's sake. She'd been suspiciously clingy the entire time.

He still hadn't changed out of his uniform. Also, there was a cop standing outside his door.

Wait.

A cop. Outside his door. It was dark, since they'd never fixed the streetlights, but Sasuke could recognize that silhouette anywhere. He watched the cop step back and walk with heavy steps down the stairs, shoulders shoved down with obvious worry.

As the cop passed by, Sasuke turned his head and tried his best to look casual, which was hard in bright yellow. The cop made an odd sound. It was probably just laughter.

What the hell had he wanted?

Sasuke turned to watch him go. Hopefully the cop would come back tomorrow, when Sasuke had a full night's rest to prop him up.

The stairs creaked under his feet. Someday they'd probably give out. He unlocked the door, kicking off his shoes and nudging them into line with his toes.

It was fucking cold, which didn't make sense. It was near eighty degrees outside, so why--?

Sasuke flipped on the light, and saw Naruto sitting on his kitchen table with his clothes drenched in blood.

He said, "Why aren't you in the fucking hospital, you moron!?"

"Man, I've been waiting forever for you to come home," Naruto said, and then: "What the hell? You can see me?"

"Shut up," Sasuke said, and rushed forward.

Except he couldn't get near. He took one step, two steps, three--and then the cold hit him like a solid wall, and he could only stop and stare. "Naruto, what...."

"You can see me!" Naruto crowed. He slid off the table, and Sasuke was forced to take another step back. He wasn't an idiot. His mind was going, and going first, and he really, really didn't like the conclusion it was drawing.

"I've been wandering around for days, man," Naruto said, apparently still an idiot.

Even if he was a--

"I tried stalking Sakuar for a while, but it got skeevy, you know? I saw like an inch of flesh and I was out of there. And then it was just boring, and then I thought, hey, who else could I bother? And I thought of you right away 'cause--"

"They found your body," Sasuke said, more to himself. "The cop was here to ask questions." His lips felt entirely numb, and it wasn't because of Naruto.

"Oh, that," Naruto said. "Yeah. I watched for a while but it was so boring, just a bunch of guys looking around and taking pictures. Why's your apartment so empty?"

Sasuke said, "You... you're dead."

"Ah. Well. Yeah." Naruto grinned, like it was something to be embarrassed about. Sasuke's gaze was drawn to his chest, at the blood there. Nausea swelled in his gut--

--and he said, "You're a ghost."

"I am!" Naruto said, and the grin widened.

Sasuke pressed his palm flat against the wall, leaned forward, and threw up.

-

"That was disgusting, by the way."

Sasuke was on his hands and knees, because it was better to clean messes up straightaway. He jerked his head up. "Don't come any closer," he growled.

"You're such a bastard," Naruto said.

"Being near you makes me feel like I'm in a freezer. Just... stay there," Sasuke said. "And shut up." He gestured threateningly with his rag and ignored the stench of his own vomit.

Naruto stayed. He didn't shut up. "You know, I can't go through walls. But I can float," he said. "That's how I got in. Do you always keep your bathroom window open? Don't bugs get in that way?"

Sasuke stood up to rinse his rag again. He didn't look at Naruto. "Open windows help prevent mildew, obviously," he said as he turned off the tag. "Didn't I tell you to shut up?"

"Whatever," Naruto said. "Like I'd know that. My place is too cheap to have running water. Was too cheap," he added, and Sasuke flinched. The back of his hand hit the faucet.

"Naruto," he said, hoarsely, "just shut up."

"What is your problem?" Naruto asked.

"I'm going to bed," Sasuke snapped. He thought for a bit, and then reluctantly opened the window above the sink. Then he went towards hid bedroom. He did not say: You better still be here when I wake up.

-

-

Naruto sat and stared at Sasuke's bedroom door, and got bored after just one minute.

The city was an interesting place to be, maybe because he wasn't chained by crazy-long shifts anymore. He wanted to explore the high-society clubs, check in on Sakura, finally swear at his boss and not have to care about the consequences, though.

There was a problem, though.

He couldn't get away from Sasuke's apartment.

It wasn't like there was any invisible wall keeping him. But as soon as his thoughts shifted, as soon as his mind recognized he was moving away, his feet stilled and he just. Didn't want to walk away. It was the hardest thing in the world.

In the end, he just kept thinking, I'm still in his neighborhood, I'm still nearby, still in the neighborhood, and that way he could walk as far as the next street.

It was a pretty sad mantra, though, and it wasn't like there was anything interesting to see, so in the end Naruto turned back.

The wind had closed the window shut, though, so he had to go in through the bathroom windows again. The door was cracked open. Naruto had to close his eyes and will himself through.

When he opened his eyes, he saw Sasuke. The bastard slept like Sleeping Beauty: posture straight, hands on his chest, nose pointed straight at the ceiling.

"I think," Naruto said, "that I'm haunting you."

Sasuke didn't reply.

Like this, he looked dead. Naruto sat cross-legged on the floor and watched Sasuke's chest rise, fall, rise and fall, for the rest of the night.

-

-

Sasuke woke up. It was freezing, which meant--

"You're still here."

"Eheh." Naruto grinned. He was on the floor, close enough that Sasuke dragged the blankets around himself. "By the way, I'm haunting you."

Sasuke rubbed his face. The blankets weren't helping. "Why?"

"I dunno." Naruto looked around the room, as if he hadn't had plenty of time to study it before. "Are you going to work?"

"I have to, I'm covering for you."

--except that Naruto was dead. You couldn't fire someone that was dead. What was the point in saving the idiot's job, then?

Sasuke decided he'd go anyway.

"Can I come with you?"

Sasuke opened his mouth, ready to yell. The words caught mid-throat. Naruto's chin was cupped in his palm, his hair brushing against his cheeks, and the expression on his face was entirely serious.

His eyes were wide, and blue, and sad.

"Just... keep your distance," Sasuke said.

-

Naruto kept his distance. The problem was, it didn't help.

Sasuke kept--not seeing him. The blood. He'd turn to yell an order, and he'd see red flash by his vision. Or he'd be delivering, and Naruto would be there, sitting on the railing and Sasuke would look immediately at his bloodied chest.

"I asked for the chicken."

"I... excuse me?" Sasuke managed, and yanked his mind back into his ugly yellow uniform. The customer was glaring. Sasuke tried on his best smile, which had once made Sakura faint. The customer didn't look impressed.

"I asked," he said, "for chicken."

"I'm sorry," Sasuke said, and reached for the plate.

"No. Don't. I have a meeting to get to," the man said, and tugged at his tie as if Sasuke had never met an executive before. His smile slipped.

It slipped even more when he saw Sakura. Her expression was entirely blank.

"Bring me a coffee," the man said.

Sasuke ignored him. He could choke on his breakfast. And Sakura's eyes were red.

He grabbed her elbow and pulled her aside, into a corner that only held an old couple and dirty tables that hadn't been cleaned yet.

"Sakura," he started.

"They made me identify the body," Sakura told the floor. Her muscles were tense against his skin. "I had to go to the morgue. We were going to go on a date, you know."

Which was ridiculous, because Sakura had always said no. But Sasuke pulled her close anyway, looked over the top of her dyed hair and met Naruto's eyes.

From this far away, the dead man's expression was unreadable.

current WIP + new clothes + hmmm

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 05:51:42 GMT

i seem to be a bit addicted to taking photos with my cell phone now. It's easy 'cause I don't have to worry about charging it all the time.

[ Current WIP progress. ]

All drawings, I think, have a point where everything starts falling into place and really feel like proper drawings. I think this one just hit that point. *g*

-

I love these type of skirts u_u I can't stop buying them. Seriously I like pairing them with big t-shirts, it makes for a very nice mixed casual look and it makes it totally okay to wear skirts with flip flops. also look at how fluffy it is. *pets it*

I tried this one on and immediately bought it. HAHA. It's just cute. Look at it! The saleslady actually suggested wearing it with a belt but my brother actually doesn't let me wear belts, he says they all look ugly and disgusting, so I just don't wear them, his whinging is too much of a pain.

I'm on the hunt for leggings right now u_u I saw a pair for about 48RM, but, I don't know if that's a good price or not lawl.

-

I have a debit card now! x: It looks very official. Also it took forever to get.

By the way? I hate doing research for fics. I mean, it's fun, but I end up getting carried away and then I just spend hours. and. hours. reading all this random shit. Right now I have a billion tabs open on stuff like this and this and this, and also Bill Bryson's The Lost Continent open in my lap.

Hmmm.

Someone tell me to stop researching and get to writing.

ficlet

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 18:51:25 GMT

I don't know. The first sentence popped into my head and I knew right away I had to do something with it. Unedited, unbetaed. It's very much a first draft. You can tell because it's disgustingly wordy. And I left all my notes in, which are found in square brackets. :d I thought it'd be kind of interesting to see. (I could be wrong, ahaha.)

Naruto knew immediately that he was dead.

He picked himself up and looked down at the body he'd left behind. Funny, but there was a lot less blood than all those horror movies suggested there would be.

He remembered being stabbed--remembered most of all that horrible, ghthhk sound the knife had made as it tore through his chest. He didn't really want to remember the part that had come after. Dying had hurt. Being stabbed hadn't. Being stabbed had just been a shock, a moment defined by what the fuck and no way and this isn't happening.

Dying had hurt like hell. Being dead might even be an improvement.

Sakura was going to be mad as hell. Or maybe she wouldn't. She hadn't really wanted to agree to the date, even Naruto could tell things like that.

He looked down the street. Everything was wet and glossy, because of the rain. It was very quiet, and very dark. There was a trash dump a few meters away that probably smelled worse than Naruto.

Well. Worse than his body. His ex-body.

There was nothing else to do but walk. Naruto had always been good at going forwards and not looking back.

This time, though, he couldn't help that last glance before he stepped out of the alley.

-

[research: restaurants, esp waiters--working conditions, pay, duties.]

That goddamn idiot hadn't shown up for work in three days. Sasuke was going to murder him.

Of course, Sasuke only knew because Sakura had frantically called him up, begging him to cover for Naruto. Sasuke still wasn't quite sure if she'd been begging for Naruto's sake or her own--she was suspiciously clingy--but it wouldn't matter soon, because Sasuke was running himself ragged working too many shifts per day, and why the hell did Naruto have to work such long hours, anyway?

It was near eleven, and Sasuke was heading home. He hadn't changed out of his uniform. It wasn't like it mattered. He'd have to change back in just eight hours, and who thought twenty-four hour restaurants were a good idea, anyway?

[research: police procedure after dead bodies are found.]

--There was a cop outside his door. With perfect calm, Sasuke took a step back and slid behind a corner. As inconspiciously as possible, Sasuke peeked.

Yes. A cop, for sure. Sasuke could recognize easily that grim face and those tense shoulders. He watched the cop step away from the door, sighing regretfully, and walk carefully down the stairs. They creaked. Sasuke wished the steps would give out, but of course they didn't.

As the cop passed by, Sasuke turned his head and tried his best to look casual, which was a bit difficult in a bright yellow uniform. The cop made an odd sound, but it was probably just laughter.

What the hell had he wanted?

Sasuke walked up the steps and unlocked the door.

The first thing he noticed was the cold. The second thing he noticed was Naruto, sitting on his kitchen table with his clothes drenched in blood.

Sasuke said, "We should get you to the hospital."

"Man, I've been waiting forever for you to come home," Naruto said, and then: "What the hell? You can see me?"

"Shut up," Sasuke said, and rushed forward.

Except he couldn't get near Naruto.

It was too cold. He took one step, two steps, three--and he had to stop, because it was freezing, the cold hit him like one of Sakura's punches. Sasuke stopped, and stared.

"Naruto, what...."

"You can see me!" Naruto crowed. He slid off the table, and Sasuke was forced to take another step back. Sasuke wasn't an idiot. His mind was going, and going fast, and he really, really didn't like the conclusion it was coming up with.

"I've been wandering around for three days, man," Naruto said, apparently still and idiot even if he was a...

... even if he was a....

"I tried stalking Sakura for a while, but it got skeevy, you know? I saw like an inch of flesh and I was out of there. And then it was just boring, and then I thought, hey, who else could I bother, and I thought immediately of you 'cause--"

"They found your body," Sasuke said.

"Huh?" Naruto said.

"They found you body," Sasuke repeated. "That's why there was a police officer outside."

"Oh, that," Naruto said. "Yeah. I watched for a while but it was boring, just a bunch of guys looking around and taking pictures. Why's your apartment so empty?"

Sasuke, still unable to reach his kitchen table, said, "You're dead."

"Ah. Well. Yeah." Naruto grinned, like it was something to be embarrassed about. Sasuke was too busy looking at his chest, at the blood, too busy feeling nauseous and disgusted--

--why the hell had he ever entertained those horrible thoughts about Naruto, why had he been so uncharitable--

--and saying, "You--you're a ghost."

"I am!" Naruto said, and grinned.

Sasuke pressed his palm flat against the door, leaned forward, and threw up.

I GOT A FRINGE

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 11:58:41 GMT

What the subject line says. I GOT A FRINGE. It was super-exciting. I walked in and I gestured across my face, and the lady replied in Chinese, and I had no idea if she understood or not BUT APPARENTLY SHE DID.

My twin says I look Korean; my Mom says I look Chinese; my Dad... my Dad just laughed. :[

WHATEVER, IT LOOKS KICK-ASS. Even if I will have to attack it with a straightener every day, but you know I spend ages on my hair and make-up anyway so it's not like it'll make a difference. *makes love to my straightening balm*

Yes, my bedroom wall really is pink. Do not underestimate my girliness.

[ Here is the only picture of me pre-fringe I could find on my laptop. ]

I actually lent that skirt to Sophia and she still hasn't given it back to me whaaaat it's one of my favorites man.

While I'm posting pictures, have some pictures of my house. I think i promised someone (I forgot who!) a while ago I would take pictures and er. Here they are? sry i fail.

(if you're wondering about the quality of all the pictures in this post... they're all cell phone pics hahaha. sorry. er. yes.)

naruto 455

Fri, 10 Jul 2009 09:24:20 GMT

brb

shipping SaiNaru

naruyaoi_fest + sn_e + art

Wed, 08 Jul 2009 06:49:04 GMT

I just got a message about some naruyaoi_fest. Is anyone else participating? I'm kind of ~meh~ about it, but I'd do it if people on my flist were doing it, because I am a fucking sheep.

*BAAAAAAA*

-

Also I just volunteered to do more pinch-hitting for the sn_exchange, even though I'm in the middle of one assignment already. Am I an idiot or am I an idiot?

I think I just enjoy drawing SasuNaru too much. u_u

I should be done sketching it by Fri at the latest, though, and then inking on Sat/Sun, and then shading and blocking in at a leisurely pace throughout the next week. Ahhh I'm excited. It won't be as elaborate or long as I wanted but right now it's short and cute so.

-

art

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 04:22:49 GMT

So my Mom ISN'T happy with my IB results.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

But my friends are amazing for cheering me up ♥

did i ever post this? I think I did like a few entries back, w/e

IB RESULTS

Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:36:32 GMT

IB RESULTS ARE IN

>

Subject	Grade
English A1 HL	7
French B SL	6
History SL	5
Chemistry HL	5
Mathematics SL	6
Visual Arts A HL	6
EE/TOK points	2
Total points	37

brb crying in pure happiness

37

motherfucking 37

yessssssss

sn_e bitching + current WIP + babbling

Sat, 04 Jul 2009 10:22:26 GMT

brb slowly killing myself.

I finally decided what I want to do for my pinch-hit sn_exchange entry. I just thumb-nailed it all out, and now i want to stab myself because... I have to get it done by the 17th? REALLY? Awwwwwgh. *contemplates extension*

It's weird reading everyone else's progress reports on their entry xD I know other people are still working... and some aren't khhaaaaaaaakh *envies pushingmeaway and clings to sometimeshatter*

-

[ Current WIP shot 1 ] and [ current WIP shot 2 ]. (Please excuse the cell-phone pictures, haha.) I wanted to do a practice piece, so I didn't want to waste my sugar paper, so... I just took a cereal box and cut it up. u_u Anyway, it's me as a baby, and it's coming along sloooowly. I love portraits so I'm taking my time between overdosing on new manga.

I realy do enjoy working with pastels and charcoal. u_u I do want to do a fluffy shoujo-ish watercolor piece sometime, of course, but there's something really solid yet airy about pastels. I know where I stand with them. Watercolor is finicky, while acrylics & oils just make me long for Photoshop. Pencils are intimidating. But pastels... pastels are just comforting.

-

It's weird. I don't consider myself a writer. I really, really don't. But the more time I spend on C&A, the more seriously I regard my writing. I even go through the "fffffft oh man I SUCK" cycles I normally only do with my art and it's weird. Strange. Bizarre.

I also really, really want to write girl!Naruto or cross-dressing!Naruto fic. I just need a plot. *SITS AND SCHEMES* And meanwhile I'll just content myself with drawing more and more Naruko.

*cackle*

I'm doing a collab... or a series of collabs, rather... with first_quadrant *g* LOOK FORWARD TO IT. It's full of gender-bender fun.

-

PS: Sims 3 owns my soul.

Naruto: Crown & Anchor, Chapter Ten: Jump

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 13:32:07 GMT

Title: Crown & Anchor
Author: insteadofdeath
Pairing: Sasuke/Naruto
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,168
Summary: [AU] One Monday morning, Naruto answers the door to find one Uchiha Sasuke asking him for a date. The problem is, they've never even met before.
Notes: This chapter was the most difficult to write so far. Seriously. It would not even exist if it weren't for my friends. Thanks for putting up with my bitching and complaining, you guys. Thanks specifically to James, for throwing out crazy suggestions and making them possible; and to my Dad (even if he's never going to read this!) who didn't mind all the weird & bizarre questions I asked him. And thanks, as always, to my beta pandamneris--ilu, bb!

While I'm on this weird thanking spree, I'd like to give hugs to all my readers. You guys are wonderful, and thank you for all the alerts, favorites, comments, and reviews. I don't deserve it, haha!

Previous chapters here.

Crown & Anchor
by Nilladriel

Chapter Ten: Jump

Naruto didn't exactly wake up, because he hadn't been sleeping; rather, he came into his anger slowly, his awareness shifting from blankness to heat.

For a long time, he didn't move. Above him, the fan spun. Unlike the one in the Red Prawn, this one was noiseless. The ceiling was white.

Naruto sat up and looked at his childhood bedroom. It was mostly unchanged, if too neat. The curtains were blue. The shelves were overfull with slightly yellowed books.

He went to the window, running his fingers down the side. It was firmly sealed--the handle moved, but the window didn't. What a surprise. Through the glass he saw a black car, parked just outside the gates. The windows were tinted, and it was anyone's guess who was inside. Naruto didn't much care. He crossed the room and tried the door.

It was locked. Another surprise. Naruto threw his weight against it, heaving; all he gained was a bruised shoulder and the suspicion that he'd have to gain fifty kilograms before he could budge it. He bent and glared at the seam, and saw the hinges were reinforced.

He banged on the door, first yelling and then screaming. No one came.

In the bathroom, the small windows were open, but grilled. Anyway, they were too high up for Naruto to reach. Naruto watched a gecko flit across the wall and out the window, and pulled his lips back.

Anko had taken off his shoes. She'd also taken his wallet, his cell phone, and his car keys. The shoes had been left in a convenient pile by the desk, along with his jacket, gloves, and scarf. She hadn't done the same with the wallet, or the phone, or the keys. It was like getting punched in the gut.

He went back to the bed and sat down. He was angry. He was furious. Naruto knew, because he felt hot, because his skin itched, because his limbs were stiff and his fingers kept twitching. But it was a distant anger, like that goddamn hot chocolate had removed Naruto from his own body and he hadn't quite come back yet.

There was fear, too, but it was more distant than the anger.

He sat, and studied the room. The fan was new. The AC was new too, and as quiet as the fan. The furniture was the same: heavy and wooden. On the desk was a tray of food, and--

--there was a packet of cigarettes, tucked neatly into the corner.

Right. Because he'd smoked, once upon a time, before Sakura started laying down ultimatums. Naruto stared at the tray for a long time. He didn't give a shit about the food, and even less about the unopened can of soda. He didn't care about the cigarettes, either.

Naruto stood up. He walked to the bookcase, where he thoroughly disrespected his childhood and tore pages out of his old, beloved comic books. In the bathroom, a quick search yielded a first aid kit, newer than he remembered. He opened it and was relieved to find two small bottles of alcohol, for swabbing cuts. They stung his nose when he opened them. By the door, he squatted and carefully soaked the comics he'd once loved fiercely.

The bedsheets would do for secondary fuel. Naruto stripped them off methodologically and dumped them by the door.

There was a lighter on the tray, right next to the cigarettes. It was bright blue. Naruto felt his lips stretch, like he was smiling. He didn't let himself hesitate. He thumbed the lighter once, twice. Then he knelt down and got to work.

It took longer than he thought it would, to coax the flame onto the wood. The fire alarm shrilled; Naruto felt his not-smile widen. The smoke was thicker than he expected, low and gray. He watched as the flame climbed the door, hungry and quick.

Fucking awesome.

Naruto went to sit in his old desk chair, turning it around and straddling the back like a kid might. The alarm kept shrieking. The fire was quiet, but hungry.

He didn't have to wait long. There was an impressive sound, almost like cracking thunder; the door--the pieces of the door--were slammed down, fire and all--and then Anko was there, bellowing, "What the fuck are you doing?"

Naruto looked at her and said, "Let me see Sarutobi."

-

Anko let him see Sarutobi.

This time, she led him to the study, but Naruto told himself he wasn't scared. He was too busy being pissed off.

He let Anko march him to the desk, which had seemed impossibly big when he was young. Time had made it smaller but not less imposing. Then he wrenched his elbow out of Anko's iron grip, probably leaving bruises, and said, "What the fuck, you old bastard."

Sarutobi put his papers down and said, "Naruto," like it was a proper greeting. He didn't stand up, because he didn't need to; it was his study, with the heavy curtains and the two walls of books, and the single frame on the desk which was turned so Naruto couldn't see the picture.

Naruto said, again, "What the fuck. You better have a damn good explanation for--"

He couldn't say it. He couldn't say it, so he hissed, "I want an explanation."

For a long time, Sarutobi didn't say anything. He looked weary, and under the suit his thin shoulders seemed to sag under unknown weights. Naruto would have been disarmed, except for the steel in the old man's expression, uncovered in his eyes like a blade.

Finally Sarutobi said, "I don't owe you an explanation, Naruto. I never have."

Naruto looked at him and felt that old, familiar fear, rising in his stomach like disgust.

He'd been twelve years old. Just twelve years old, and content in that old house. Not--happy, he recognized that now, reminiscence had a way of casting pink on old memories, but--

--at least he'd had his father.

Naruto kept looking, into the face of a man who'd both taken and given him everything, and said, "Fuck you. You're not even going to let me leave, are you?"

"Not until I can be assured of your safety," Sarutobi said.

"Yeah? Have you always been this much of a paranoid shitcase, or is it a recent thing?" Naruto asked.

Sarutobi didn't answer, which was as good as a yes. "Anko will take you to a guestroom, since you've decided you don't like your old bedroom. Don't do anything stupid, Naruto," and that last was said in a tone so familiar and soft Naruto wasn't sure if he wanted to punch the man or, absurdly, apologize. He felt sick.

Anko stepped forward, looking not at all apologetic.

"What happened?" he asked, not moving just yet.

Again displaying a remarkable ability to just ignore anything he'd rather have Naruto not say, Sarutobi said, "Next time, if you require anything, simply knock on the door. Ms. Uzuki Yugao will help you. You gave the security staff quite a panic, Naruto."

Naruto just snorted. "Don't touch me," he snapped at Anko, and walked stiffly out of the study, not waiting to be dismissed.

He felt light-headed, and probably not from the lack of food. As they walked down the stairs, he said, "Anko, what--"

Anko glanced at him, wearing a weird expression, like everything was funny. "Konohamaru's missing."

"... What?"

"And your apartment's been compromised," she added.

"What does that mean?" Naruto asked dumbly.

"I mean it's been fucking trashed."

Suddenly, Naruto wanted to laugh, too. "And the old man couldn't just say this?"

Anko stopped, and opened a highly unremarkable door, except Naruto could see the grills on the window above the queen-sized bed. Despite the furniture, it was pointedly empty.

"Get in," Anko said. "Don't try anything stupid, kid." She hesitated. "He might threaten your girlfriend, next, to make sure you behave."

"We broke up years ago," Naruto said automatically, thoroughly confused.

"Yeah, but her mini drug trade's still going strong, ain't it?" Anko said. She smiled at him, about as friendly as a shark. The door closed. It didn't sound anything like wood, because it clanged shut. Naruto gaped at it.

"What the hell do you mean, drug trade?"

-

The day dragged on. Naruto watched the sun disappear through barred windows. There was barbed wire on top of the walls, he noted, which were square, tall, smooth, and looked about as easy to climb as ice.

Because he really needed a reminder of how good the security was here.

Someone entered; Naruto turned his head, giving the maid as sincere a smile as he could manage as she dropped off what was probably dinner. Behind the maid, a woman glowered--Uzuki Yugao, right. She was the guard from earlier, and she still looked ridiculously suspicious of him. He couldn't see her gun under her clothes.

Naruto tried on a smile for her, too, which she didn't return. She only closed the door.

When he was tired of glaring at the wall, he got up to inspect the contents of the new tray. Food and drink--dinner, this time, a lot of it. The maids had always loved teasing Naruto about his vacuum-cleaner stomach. He felt his lips twist unhappily.

There was a packet of cigarettes, and next to it a lighter, quietly telling Naruto that he could try setting shit on fire again and it wouldn't work. The cigarette packet was decorated with a photograph of a ruined lung. Naruto picked it up, put it back down.

The food smelled good.

Naruto checked out the bathroom instead. It smelt like dust and oranges. He opened the cupboard--and there was the first aid kit, the surface gray from disuse. Another slap in the face.

He splashed water on his face. He could start another fire, probably, and this time he'd do it to escape--not just so he could confront Sarutobi. But could he really...?

No. Think, Naruto. For once in your life. He stared hard at his reflection, like he'd magically get the answers he wanted that way. There was a guard outside--grills on the windows--security cameras--regular patrols--

Shit. Don't panic. Don't get angry. Think.

... Did Sakura really deal in drugs? Would the old man really threaten her to keep Naruto locked down?

He might. He really might. Naruto took a deep, shaky breath, letting the air fill his lungs and imagining his worry escaping as easily as his next exhalation.

Coming from Anko, those words were as good as a threat. Sarutobi had a way of making sure harder news came from someone else. But Naruto would have to risk it. Because Konohamaru--

Who had taken him? Why would anyone even bother to kidnap the brat?

Naruto jerked upright. Of course.

He ran out of the bathroom, stopping before the door to compose himself. Feeling ridiculous, he knocked.

It opened almost immediately. Uzuki Yugao, it turned out, was the guard from earlier. Despite her frailty, she looked ready to take him out. Naruto opened his mouth--

--and thought, No. Not now. It's too soon. Besides, she was the wrong person to confront.

So he tried to look relaxed, or as relaxed as someone in a gilded cage could be. "Could you guys get my luggage, at least? It'll be in the Red Prawn, room 17." He tried a smile. "I'm sure you won't have any trouble getting in, right."

Uzuki looked unimpressed at his sarcasm. "Yes, sir."

Naruto listened carefully when she shut the door, and--yeah, it was definitely disguised metal. The sound reverberated too much for it to be anything else.

While he waited, Naruto looked over the room one more time. There were plenty of astounding, exciting classics to keep him company, like Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea. There were two chairs. As if Naruto could invite someone over. Hey, what's up, man? Yeah, I got fucking kidnapped by the man who--

(No.)

--who raised me. Life's great, huh?

He looked at the tray of food, felt his stomach clench, and looked away.

He wanted to call Sakura.

He wanted to call Neji, too.

And maybe even that bastard Sasuke, as long as he didn't say I told you so.

There was a clock on the wall--in case any prisoners wanted to go stir-crazy watching time pass, maybe. Naruto heaved a sigh, crossed the room, and chose a book.

He didn't realize he'd fallen asleep until he jerked awake. Naruto straightened. He'd had a nightmare--he was sure of it--but he couldn't remember what about, just that it left him sticky with sweat and fear. He didn't know what exactly had woken him up, but something had, drifting on the edge of his consciousness.

"Shit," he breathed, and rubbed his cheeks with the palm of his hands. It was like he'd never slept at all, like his mind and body, hyper-alert state and all, had been dumped across a time jump. His neck hurt from sleeping in a chair, and the sun hadn't even risen properly yet.

He picked up the tray and dumped the contents into the trash bin, wincing at the smell. He was starving, but he didn't want to eat, and the contradiction gave him a headache. Or maybe that was the lack of sleep and food.

He stepped into the bathroom, pulling his clothes off slowly. He washed in cold water, and then rinsed off in warm; the sudden contrast made the water even hotter, beating some of the tension from his body.

He wrapped a towel around himself, rubbing his hair dry with another. Fuck, hadn't he asked for his luggage? Why hadn't it arrived by now? All they had to do was drive down there and get it, right?

Unless something happened. Naruto didn't let himself worry about it, but that didn't mean it wasn't there, along with everything else.

The book he'd been reading had fallen on the floor; the pages were bent. Naruto picked it up, read the title, and snorted. Cloudstreet--no wonder he'd fallen asleep.

A perfunctory knock caught his attention; Naruto glanced up as the door opened. He watched as the maid delivered clothes, putting them neatly away. They weren't his clothes. Not a single one of them was orange.

Uzuki said only, "I apologize for the delay, sir." Her tone was wooden and less welcoming than Iruka in a bad mood.

Naruto said, "What the fuck happened?" like it would get him an answer. It didn't. Uzuki didn't frown, exactly, but she looked disappointed in him. What was he supposed to do, smile and sit still like an idiot?

She asked, "What would you like for breakfast?"

Ramen.

"I don't care," Naruto said. "Can I have my phone back?"

Uzuki said, "Yes, sir."

He didn't get it back.

-

Dinner was ramen.

It didn't take long for Naruto to give into his stomach.

He didn't eat a lot. Not by his usual standards. But he still felt like he'd lost, somehow, and the thought made him queasy. The drink was canned, again, so Naruto felt that it was probably safe. Even so, he didn't drink it, opting for tapwater. It tasted metallic against his tongue.

He'd prowled the room seven times by now. He felt like maybe he should do so again, in case it might be useful. Instead, he went to the bathroom, even though he didn't really need to go.

It was ten o' clock. Funny how time passed so fucking slowly in here, and yet it seemed like the whole day had slipped through his fingers, shriveled up and wasted. Naruto snorted, closing the bathroom door behind him. He needed to come up with a pl--

He froze.

Someone was taping the glass.

Someone was taping the glass. With packing tape. Naruto jerked his upper body up. His mouth dropped. The man on the other side, very calmly, broke the glass. Naruto wondered if he was dreaming.

Apparently not, because the man said, "Oi. Get started with the grill while I clear the glass." He was holding out a vice grip. His irritated expression suggested he was picking up shit from the sidewalk, not breaking Naruto out.

"They... they're one-way screws," Naruto said, approaching the window slowly as if the man were an apparition that would scare. "And they're pretty deep. That probably wouldn't work."

The man said, "Tch. Fine, here," and Naruto numbly accepted the center punch and hammer offered.

"Er. What about the cameras? The guards?"

"Juugo and Karin took care o' that," the man said. His hair was bleached near-white, and looked jagged and dry, but his eyes shone near-red. His grin made Naruto think of sharks.

Naruto used a pillow-case to muffle the hammering as much as he could; in the night, each sound was unbelievably magnified, even his own heartbeat, beating in time with his careful, quiet hits. When the glass was cleared, the man impatiently took over; he removed all the screws in just twenty minutes. Naruto steadied the grill. It was surprisingly light. He leaned it against the wall and resisted the urge to kick it.

"We're running late," the man said, sounding digusted. "Let's go."

Naruto said, "Right," and vaulted over. The grass was cool against his bare feet, and, shit, why hadn't he ever noticed how sweet outside always smelled, city-air or not?

"I hope you can climb. I ain't carrying you," the man said, leading Naruto straight to the wall with little concern for cameras. Then they really had been taken care of. But--how?

"What?" the man said. "Hurry up. Or you want me to carry you? I could."

Right. Naruto was going to bulk up as soon as this whole shitfest was over. Ten kilograms at least. He grabbed the rope and began hauling himself up, bare feet finding grip on the wall. His muscles burned, but that was nothing against the rush he felt.

Then he stopped. "There's an electric fence," he said, numbly.

"So?" the man said. "We disabled that. Go."

Naruto went.

He half-fell, half-slid down the other side, knees complaining as he landed unsteadily. A bare second later the man followed, moving like water as if his heavy bag didn't bother him at all. While he coiled the rope, Naruto walked unsteadily forward--and stopped. It was the black car from before, and--

Sasuke.

Sasuke, who just looked at him, leaning against the car like a cut-out from a magazine. "What?" he said.

"Sasuke," Naruto said. "I'm going to break your face."

The man swept past them, muttering under his breath. Sasuke said, "Shut up, Suigetsu," but he didn't stop looking at Naruto.

"Come on," Sasuke said.

"This is seriously anti-climactic," Naruto said, and stepped forward. So did Sasuke.

It wasn't a hug. Naruto felt crushed, like Sasuke was pulling him closer and closer, physical barriers be damned. He couldn't breathe.

The car window rolled down. A woman said, "Urgh, just get in, would you?" And then: "Bitch."

Sasuke let go. It took Naruto a moment to realize he had to let go, too. He flushed and stepped back, loosening suddenly stiff fingers.

Sasuke said, "Let's go," and took Naruto's hand. Naruto let him. They climbed inside the car. Suigetsu kept his eyes outside, shoulders stiff, still muttering to himself. It occured to Naruto he was keeping watch.

The woman up front said, "Right," and drove. Naruto twisted in his seat and watched Sarutobi's mansion disappear.

He was hungry again.

Naruto 454 + art

Fri, 03 Jul 2009 12:14:37 GMT

Is it just me, or is the mizukage really hot?

*-*

Naruto... my baby... ToT *hugs him*

Reading Naruto always gets my muse going, so have a drawing:

Lame background is lame. I mean, it's a green rectangle.

Clothes are lamer.

But I do think their faces are cute. *pets them*

-

(regarding Bakuman 44: This is terrible of me to say but Mashiro's sleeping face is adorable. ._. *IS A HORRIBLE PERSON*)

under the red moon chapter 2... kind of.

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 14:00:26 GMT

No idea if people remember, but I posted the prologue & chapter one of Under the Red Moon ages ago. And by ages I mean five months ago. And I still haven't released the second chapter, because I suck. It's a supernatural/horror AU and I'm pretty sure the rating should actually be R, not PG-13. Oops. *goes to change it*

ANYWAY here's what I've written so far. It's slow going because I want the characters to matter before I throw all sorts of shit at them. Hm.

I'm not sure if the POV switches/juggling works. u_u boo.

this chapter's title should be "Boys Being Stupid"

-

On Wednesday, Naruto awoke when Haku did, the alarm jerking him awake and causing him to roll to the edge of the bed. There was a soft thump as his walrus hat fell onto the floor.

Haku made a muffled sound. Naruto sat up and nudged the older boy with the flat of his foot. "Get up, you lazy ass," he said.

Haku glared. His messy hair and bleary expression ruined the effect. Another nudge convinced Haku to slide out of bed, not because he wanted to wake up but because it would get him away from Naruto. A few moments later, Naruto heard the shower running. He flopped back onto the bed, bouncing slightly before he sunk into the soft mattress.

He might have seen a corpse yesterday, but he wasn't going to let it get to him. He was determined to have fun today.

Probably not with Sai, though. Naruto felt guilty, just a bit, but it wasn't as if he needed to hang out with Sai every day. They were best friends, but they weren't connected at the hip or anything. And after yesterday it would be--weird.

He reached out blindly, managing to knock a book and three pencils onto the floor before his fingers finally curled around his phone. Of his admittedly limited circle of friends, Kiba and Sai were the only ones who believed in fun over school. Maybe Kiba would be up to crashing the mall.

He let his phone fall by the pillow by his ear as Kiba's caller ringtone joined the cold morning air. It was some band Naruto didn't know, light on the bass, the singer's voice heavy and low.

Naruto didn't realize he'd fallen asleep until Haku slammed the bathroom door shut. His cell phone had fallen silent, waiting for him to give a message to Kiba's inbox.

"The hell? Kiba's not answering," Naruto said. He redialed.

Haku, despite looking more awake, didn't answer. He pulled on his shirt, folding the collar down and buttoning even the top button, which Naruto never did.

A few seconds later, Naruto snapped his phone shut. Who needed Kiba, anyway?

"Oh," Haku said, as if he'd just thought of something. "I have good news."

"Huh?" Naruto said, trying Kiba's home phone this time.

"Your friend, Hinata?" Haku said. "I looked into it. She's doing well."

There was something weird about the way Haku said, as if he were trying to be casual. But Naruto didn't care; Haku wouldn't lie to him, and he felt relief crash over him, washing away a heaviness he hadn't realized was there.

"I managed to find her address, too," Haku said. "If you want--"

"No," Naruto said, then looked sorry for interrupting. "It's okay, really," he continued after a moment. "I just wanted to, you know, make sure she's okay. I don't need to meet with her."

For some absurd reason, Haku looked relieved. He was probably just being overprotective again. Like he needed a keeper. As if wanting to prove Naruto's thoughts, Haku asked, "What are you doing today?"

Naruto scrunched his face up, his eyes squinting shut. "I dunno," he said. "Guess I'll hang with Kiba once he actually answers his damn phone."

Haku, sliding the last of his books into his bag, looked satisfied. "Bye, then," he said.

-

Naruto didn't come to school, of course. It made sense. He was suspended. Obviously.

Sasuke's stupid fingers hurt. So did his neck, from whipping his head towards the door every time someone walked in.

It was thirty-five minutes into the first period, and the desk next to his was disturbingly empty. Lacking a blond idiot to trade hissed insults with, Sasuke was forced to stare blankly at the board while the teacher drawled his way through statistical probability.

He had a pencil in his hand, and a notebook that was rapidly running out of paper, because whenever the teacher told them to shut up, Sasuke and Naruto wrote their insults down instead, and passed them to one another. Sometimes, bits of conversation dropped in, which was why Sasuke knew they shared a favorite color (blue) and that they lived forty minutes apart, if you walked instead of taking the city's infamously erratic buses.

To his left, Sakura said, "Sasuke? You've been glaring for, um.... The entire class, actually."

Sasuke transferred his glare to her.

Sakura, who read Sasuke's glares as easily as the books she always carried--today it was Rigden's Hydrogen: The Essential Element--just looked at him blankly.

Sasuke put his pencil down. He wasn't using it anyway. "Where does Naruto normally go, outside of school?"

Sakura frowned at the mention of Naruto's name. "What, like, where he hangs out?"

Sasuke shrugged.

Sakura looked down at her color-coded notes, like they might explain Sasuke's question to her as easily as they explained standard deviation. "I'm not sure. He doesn't usually go out at night--oh! But, he's with Kiba a lot, though, right? So, um. I'd guess the mall, or, you know, that place near the... where are you going?"

Sasuke didn't look at her. "Sorry," he told the teacher tonelessly. "I'm going to the bathroom."

The teacher looked at him through a mop of gray-white hair and said, slowly, "Right."

Sasuke took it as permission rather than sarcasm.

Sasuke had never skipped class before, not from any particular love for following the rules--he did fight with Naruto often, after all--but because he'd never seen the point.

Now, as clear as the weather outside, he could understand. Naruto was interesting. Math wasn't. It was a simple equation.

In a vague attempt towards security, their school had a gate. It was constantly a bright, fire-truck red, because they kept having to paint over the graffiti.

The security guard was always reading. Today it was a bright pink one, with a--Sasuke stared--yes, with a naked lady on the cover. He didn't notice Sasuke clambering over the gate, which he did easily even if his left hand protested.

He landed, cat-like, on his feet. Straightening, he took a deep breath of the air outside the school. The city smelled tangy, of smoke and thick heat, but on this side of the gate it also smelled very lightly of freedom.

Sasuke smiled.

-

In the library, Haku said, "I think I just saw Sasuke skipping class."

His classmate looked at him. "We're skipping class," he said.

"No, we're not," Haku said. "We're taking a mysteriously long visit to the nurse's office. Don't you have homework to do?"

"What are you doing here, anyway," came the muttered response. Haku only sat back, staring at the screen, arms crossed. He was thankful Naruto didn't read the news, and that the Hyuuga weren't so known that this particular bit of news would wrestle headlines from too many major sources.

He wondered how long Hyuuga Hanabi had been dead, and how long she'd been missing.

He felt guilty. He should have told Naruto. But the boy was practically his brother, and... and he was making excuses. This was what Zabuza mean, when he said Haku was too kind.

He stood and left the library. He would tell Naruto tonight. It would be unfair, otherwise, and it was too close to lying, and they lied enough to Naruto as it was. He adjusted his bag. Naruto would be upset, but that was because Naruto was too kind, too.

Haku stopped.

He listened. The hallway was silent, but dark; a few of the lights were out and the one directly above was flickering. The classrooms were mostly empty. On the door nearest to Haku, a whiteboard announced that the elementary class was in the: COMPUTER LAB, complete with a smiley face. It was cute. He could hear, two doors ahead, the faint murmur of--a movie, maybe.

It was warm, but then, the aircon was probably broken, or it could be the afternoon heat skulking into the school.

There was the sound of dripping water, but that was a leak. Haku made a note to inform maintenance. He readjusted his bag, which really did make a good weapon in times of duress, and walked on. He only had twenty minutes to charm the nurse before he went back to class.

-

Sasuke needed to smile more often.

Because it was polite, and Naruto had punched him for being rude before, Sai smiled. "Sasuke!" he said. "You still look like a girl, I see."

Sasuke punched him.

Sai was just fast enough that it was only a glancing blow. He kept the smile. "And slow, too."

Sasuke raised his fist; then his gaze shifted, and he let it drop, frowning. "Where's Naruto?"

"You're looking for him, too?" Sai said.

Sasuke growled and strode past. Sai fell into step behind him; as he turned, he saw the security guard, dressed in white and suspicion. Ah. So that was why Sasuke hadn't hit him again. Sai waved in thanks as they walked past.

"Go. Away," Sasuke said.

"You want to find Naruto, don't you?" Sai asked, confused.

"If you know where he is," Sasuke said, "tell me. And then go away," he added, and stalked into the mall.

"Does Naruto know you feel this way?" Sai asked.

Sasuke stopped. "What the fuck, Sai," he said. Sai noticed that Sasuke's hair matched the mascot of the Chicken Rice they were in front of. Because he found it amusing, he widened his smile.

"Yes?" Sai asked.

"I just want to pay him back for nearly biting my fucking fingers off," Sasuke snapped, turning away.

"Oh? You must have really enjoyed it, then," Sai said.

Sasuke froze. He whirled back around. "That's it," he started.

"What's wrong?" Sai said.

"There's no way," Sasuke said, "you're as clueless as you look--"

"There's a security guard coming for us," Sai said helpfully.

Sasuke dropped his fist. "Fine. Then let's go somewhere else."

"You shouldn't betray Naruto like that," Sai said.

Sasuke punched him.

Sai dodged. Sasuke was fast, but Sai was just as fast. They flew through the mall. A businessman in a suit told them to slow the fuck down; they both ran around him. Sasuke clipped him and the poor man dropped his cell phone.

Sasuke was rude, Sai noted, and turned right. They went past the elevators and slammed through the emergency doors fast enough that Sai's palms stung from the hit.

There he turned, smiling, and then was thrown back when Sasuke hit him with a shoulder.

"Ah," Sai gasped. They were in the stairwell, so Sasuke really should be careful. What if one of them was injured? Naruto would be upset.

"Really," Sai said, which was as far as he got before Sasuke punched him in the gut.

He went down wheezing. Sasuke didn't hit him anymore, though, just sat down on the stairs and glared at him, elbows on his knees. With his jacket, wrinkled uniform and messy hair, he didn't look like a truant student anymore. He just looked angry.

Well, angrier than usual.

"I don't think I deserved that," Sai said, wincing as he straightened. He pulled his backpack off his shoulders and pulled out his sketchbook. It was fine. Good.

"I don't understand why that idiot hangs around you so much," Sasuke said.

"Hm? Are you jealous?"

"Do you want to be punched again?" Sasuke said. "Why do you always say shit like that, anyway?"

"Didn't you kiss him?" Sai said, opening his sketchbook.

When Sasuke didn't answer, Sai looked up. Perhaps he was mistaken? Sasuke certainly looked shocked, if that was what an open mouth meant. He also seemed pale, but that could be the light. He was certainly acting as if it were new information.

"When Naruto was in the nurse's office, sleeping," Sai said, unsure. "You--"

"Shut up."

"I'm sorry?" Sai tried, "But--"

"Shut UP!"

Sai gasped as he was bodily picked up, hefted by his shirt. Sasuke wasn't pale anymore; he was red, and trembling. Ah. That was definitely anger.

"Why are you so angry?" Sai asked.

Sai's phone rang.

For a moment Sasuke still looked angry. And then, very suddenly, he just looked confused.

"Can you put me down? I need to answer that," Sai said.

Still confused, Sasuke let him go. Sai reached for his phone.

"Hello? Sai speaking," he said, politely.

"Yo," Naruto said. "Dude, where the hell are you? I can't find Kiba and I'm getting pissed."

"We're in the stairwell by the elevator."

"We? Does that mean Kiba's with you?"

"Oh, no. It's Sasuke, of course," Sai said.

"What the hell," Naruto said, "are you doing with Sa--wait! The bastard's skipping class? Holy shit! I have to see this! Don't move, okay? I'm like five seconds away, I'll be right there!"

"Okay," Sai said, but his friend had already hung up. Hm.

"Naruto's coming," Sai said to Sasuke, who was pale again. Perhaps he had a disorder of some sort? It couldn't be natural to change skin color so quickly.

"Shit," Sasuke said. His face was in his palm. "Since when did you know?"

"Know what?" Sai said.

Sasuke dropped his hand. He looked up. His face changed, as if he were having another revelation. "Holy shit," he said. "You--you're as clueless as he is!"

Sai went cross-eyed as he stared at the finger suddenly in his face. "Excuse me?" he said.

"You're both clueless! You--!"

The door opened, admitting Naruto, dressed as usual in the bright colors that suited his personality but not maybe his appearance. "Hey, Sai!" he said, and smiled. "Hey, bastard," he added, without the smile.

"Naruto," Sai greeted. "Did you know Sasuke was looking for you? I think he wanted to kiss you again--"

Sasuke punched him.

naruto 453 + fanart dump! + smut ficlets

Fri, 26 Jun 2009 17:26:21 GMT

BEFORE THE FANART DUMP, I HAVE TO SAY: I love that Naruto wears mesh underneath that obnoxious sweater of his.

*SITS AND STARES AT STRIP OF FLESH*

Yes this is the most important thing I took away from this chapter. Everyone else can do the hard analysis, I will just sit here churning out pretty Naruto fanart okay.

Now that I got that out of my system: Naruto! Naruko! SasuNaru! Sakura! (Plus some original characters no one cares about, including, of course, my baby Scythe.)

I feel like Naruko is
LECTURING
me
in that last picture. Like, why are you so obsessed with me?

-

For those wondering: Next C&A chapter is on its nth draft. u_u I am in despair. It doesn't help that I'm on an art kick right now, which means less writing because S;ALSJFA must draw nowwww.

If it appeases anyone, I posted up those ficlets I wrote for that one SasuNaru/NaruSasu kink meme thingy a while back. They are pure PWPS & TWTs, meaning they jump straight to the sex without any thought at all to... well... anything besides the sexing, really. They can be found [here], [here], and [here]. Again: don't expect anything other than pure smut. Really. Seriously.

ART POST + minor bitching

Wed, 24 Jun 2009 06:42:09 GMT

Two finished pictures + two perpetual WIPs.

I will never get tired of drawing him, I swear. u_u He's a character I made up, what, more than half a decade ago and he's still around. He even has his own section in my dA gallery LAWL. That said, I look forward to the day I draw him consistently.

The second drawing is REALLY BAD so I'm linking to it. I refuse to post it lawl. It's really hard to do pencil work tbh, because I've seen works by master artists that look like photographs and it's so discouraging. But w/e. If nothing else it is fun & good practice.

Plus two WIPs:

-

In other news, Malaysia still sucks.

In other other news, a lot of my friends are one by one leaving for college, for their home countries, whatever, and it's leaving me horribly depressed.

In non-fail news, I submitted by sn_exchange piece. I demand cookies and congratulations.

welcome! + meme thing

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 04:30:15 GMT

To sometimeshatter, akihito, questofdreams, ladygizarme, pushingmeaway, vladimirachan and hanakage: Welcome! And if I missed your name... er. Sorry. Have a Naruto SD:

List 10 of your favorite characters from different fandoms, and ask people to spot patterns in your choices, and if they're so inclined, to draw conclusions about you based on the patterns they've spotted.

1. Naruto: Naruto
2. Eyeshield 21: Sena
3. KHR: Tsuna
4. Hikaru no Go: Hikaru.
5. Death Note: Misa~
6. Black Cat: Train.
7. Blade of the Immortal: Rin.
8. Hunter x Hunter: Gon.
9. Liar Game: Nao.
10. Skip Beat: Kyoko.

artdump, naruto 452

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 19:22:56 GMT

I was going to bitch some more about Malaysia but instead I'm doing an art dump. Because the bitching made me feel horiffically depressed. One picture has boobs, so if you don't like them, don't click.

-

Naruto 452 has me squealing. I loved Naruto and Sakura being all OF ONE MIND. And I loved Naruto. I swear that kid gets cuter and cuter and cuter. Sasuke struck me dumb with his pretty. u_u He's winning me over with just his looks. orz

I am over my hurdle with C&A & the chapter's coming out smooth as shit. Give me a prize, people. Having got over my writer's block, though, I've smashed into an artblock. Oops.

more random snippets.

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 06:37:36 GMT

u_u I have a lot of these lying around, man. I'm posting a few up because I know I'm never continuing 'em, so, well. Whatever. I think they're pretty decent so :D They're organized by pairings because yes I am the type of author who thinks of fic in terms of HOW DO I GET THESE TWO TOGETHER. (yes even in C&A, which likes to pretend it's more plotty than it really is.) In theory, these will all get completed someday BUT I KNOW THAT WON'T HAPPEN.

-

NejiNaru - working title is "Naked" *g*

It was a Sunday, and nearly midnight. The light drizzle that had coolly hugged the city since sunset had just fled. Neji had just finished a particularly grueling essay. He was gathering the reference books scattered about his desk to file away when he heard someone knock on his balcony doors.

With a start, Neji paused. When he looked up, he could see a vague silhouette through the filmy curtains. He put the books down and went to draw the curtains back, revealing the glass sliding doors, the metal railing beyond, and a very naked Naruto.

Depressingly, Neji’s first thought was not, Why is he naked? but instead: How did he get past security?

Without a word, Neji slid a door open. Naruto sped past him, a blur of blond hair and very tan, very naked skin. He was wet, which made him gleam in disturbingly appealing ways.

"This is Sasuke’s fault," Naruto said, as if that explained anything. Maybe it did.

"I don’t want to know," Neji said flatly before Naruto could say anything else.

"I mean, the bastard could at least have given me my clothes back before he went," Naruto continued.

His nipples are brown, Neji thought. And then, a little more regretfully: Probably I should get him some clothes.

He did. It gave him an excuse to not concentrate on Naruto, anyway.

Before he stepped into his closet, Neji glanced at his clock. It was now Monday morning. Huh. He’d at least started off the week with a naked Naruto in his bedroom.

-

They had school in less than eight hours. Naruto--now dressed in Neji’s pajamas--was sprawled on the queen-sized bed, absently reading a financial magazine, probably without understanding any of it. He’d borrowed Neji’s iPod, and was now tapping a rhythm on the side of the bed with an idle finger. He looked small and vulnerable, especially dwarfed as he was in Neji’s clothes, except just last week he’d gotten suspended for fighting and once he’d even punched Gaara and survived, and just thirty minutes ago he’d snuck into Neji’s home, naked, and Neji really didn’t want to know how or why. Except that he did.

"It was a stupid dare," Naruto said. "Your clothes smell strange."

"You’re free to take them off," Neji said stiffly. He flipped the page and stared at the next set of calculations.

Naruto’s grin was brilliant as usual, but it still rang alarm bells in Neji’s mind. He put his pencil down; physics could wait. "What really happened, Naruto?" he said.

Naruto shifted uncomfortably. "You mean, 'Why the hell were you on my balcony naked on a Sunday night?'" he guessed.

"No," Neji said. "Something’s bothering you." His eyes narrowed. "Did Sasuke do something?"

"Yes, the bastard took my clothes--"

"Naruto," Neji said.

Naruto pulled the headphones down and sighed. "Fine," he said, and began to explain.

----------

NejiNaru - working title is "Coincidental"

There was a certain ad that Neji passed by every day.

It wasn't like he went out of his way to notice it. It was just that it was large, and plastered obnoxiously on the side of the bus-stop by his apartment. It featured a certain model leaning against the border, chin tilted slightly up in a demanding look, blond hair artfully messy. The eyes were very blue. Graffiti covered one corner, obscuring the model's hands and whatever product the ad was selling.

Sometimes, maybe while waiting for his coffee to cool, or while tying up the laces of his running shoes, Neji would wonder about those eyes: Were they really that bright? Or he would think about that expression: Who was he taunting? What did he want?

And then the moment would pass, and Neji's thoughts would slide, pulled by gravity, to more important matters: His cousin's declining health. His bills.

Still, it was there, and Neji walked by it every time he went out: to work, to the grocery store, to the gym. It made sure he didn't forget.

-

-

-

"You fucking stink."

--are Uzumaki Naruto's first words to Hyuuga Neji. Later, Naruto will be a singer, and a model, and famous, and Neji will just be Neji, struggling to hold down three jobs at once without going insane. Now, though, they're high-school kids, and Naruto is right: Neji does stink.

Neji says, "Fuck off," and then wishes he hadn't. His father would have been disappointed.

"No, seriously, you stink to high hell," Naruto says, and then he's crouching over Neji, holding out something bright pink. Neji stares. It's a handkerchief. He's never met anyone who carried handkerchiefs with them, let alone pink ones with h.sakura sewn neatly in the corner.

Naruto waves the handkerchief impatiently. Neji takes it numbly. Somewhere behind them, someone screams in laughter. The sound momentarily drowns out the pouding music. There are other people near the door, lounging with cheap beer in hand. But Naruto and Neji are the only ones in the backyard, mostly because there's not much to see but overgrown grass and what looks like a forgotten baseball bat stuck through the fence.

Naruto looks at Neji look at the handkerchief. And then he says, "Holy shit," and grabs it back. Then he's wiping Neji's face and mouth, wiping away the vomit.

Neji closes his eyes, and then opens them again when something hard is shoved against his lips. It's a plastic bottle. It's opened, and there's water inside.

When Neji doesn't move, Naruto rolls his eyes. "You're pretty pathetic today. Aren't you usually, I don't know, all calm and collected and actually capable? And not some hot mess? Seriously, how much did you drink?"

Neji says, "Alliteration."

Naruto says, "What?"

"Calm. Collected. Capable. That's alliteration," Neji tells Naruto.

"No wonder you won the prize for English last year," Naruto says, and then grabs Neji's jaw. "Now come on, drink this."

Neji twists away. He manages to put the lip of the bottle against his mouth. Most of the water spills, but at least some of it doesn't. His hands are shaking but he doesn't let Naruto help him.

Then Naruto grabs Neji's arm, hauls him up with pathetic ease. He's in the varsity football team, Neji remembers. Not that it means much when their graduating class only has fifty students in it.

Neji tries to recall other facts about Naruto. His favorite color is orange. He's shorter than Neji. He won the talent contest last year. He's blond.

He's also asking what Neji's address is. When Neji doesn't answer, Naruto just looks at him and says, "Fine. You can just crash at my place."

Neji just stares at him. He feels like some sort of pet project picked up from the streets, to be fussed at and fixed. Something hot-cold, not quite anger but close, twists in his stomach. But instead he says, "Okay," and lets Naruto take on most of his weight.

Halfway down the street, Naruto says, "You know, I liked your story. The one that got published in the school magazine. It was really good."

Neji says, "Thanks," but he's more grateful for the water and the handkerchief and the offer to stay the night. He doesn't tell Naruto that, though.

-

-

-

It was a Saturday. The restaurant had been packed. Neji had a headache, throbbing low and deep beneath his eyes. He was walking home, not because he wanted to but because the bus had been late, and packed, and the last thing he wanted was more noise. He kept thinking about the restaurant. He had to keep reminding himself that it was worth it. As long as he remembered to smile, the tips were good, and he needed the money.

Thirty minutes passed, and he reached the corner store. Neji hesitated for only a second before he turned in. His budget was stretched tight, but he could justify a drink in the evening heat.

Neji hated summer. The season turned the sun vengeful. Even the wind was hot.

The woman behind the counter looked up as he entered. She'd tied her hair up in twin buns, as if she were still a teenager. She obviously worked out. The halter top she wore made her shoulders look too broad. She crossed her arms on the counter and leaned forward. "Hey."

Neji ignored her. He found the drinks in the back, and chose one dispassionately.

The magazine caught his eye when he walked back to pay. It was the model from the bus-stop ad, still as obnoxiously taunting as ever. He was dressed in black, and it looked good on him. Neji picked it up. If he cooked at home, he could justify this expense, as well.

"My name's Ten-Ten," the girl said, as she gave Neji his change. When he looked down at his receipt, he saw her number scrawled there, in hand-writing worse than his own.

"I'm not going to call you," he told her, but Ten-Ten only leaned back and smiled. The material of her top stretched tight across her full breasts. Neji looked down at the magazine. UZUMAKI NARUTO, it announced. LIFE BEFORE THE FAME. It was strange seeing that name again, in that bright bold font, but it suited him.

It was the first time Neji had ever bought a magazine.

-

-

-

"I'm back!" Naruto calls when he shoves the front door open. It bangs against the wall and flies angrily back at them. Naruto stops it with a shoulder and helps Neji in.

"Guess the old hag ain't back," Naruto says, as if Neji knows what he's talking about. He says, "Here," and holds Neji's hand, leading him like a child through the dark, empty house.

Naruto's bedroom is right by the kitchen. He switches on the lights, making Neji flinch. "Sorry," Naruto says. He doesn't sound apologetic. He finds a bottle of water by his bed. It's unopened. He opens it, gives it to Neji.

"Just don't spill so much this time," Naruto says. Neji ignores him. He closes his eyes and lets the water go where it pleases: in his mouth, down his neck, sliding down his chest and dampening his shirt.

"Ass," Naruto says, but nothing more. Neji doesn't, either. He just lies down on the bed. His eyes close. He's tired.

"Don't you at least want to brush your teeth?" Naruto says. He prods Neji with a toe.

Neji thinks, Fuck off, but he doesn't say it, not this time.

"Damn. Never thought I'd see the genius Neji like this," Naruto says, and laughs.

If it were anyone else, Neji would have punched them. Doesn't matter if he drank too much, that he threw up earlier, that his limbs feel heavy and dead. But Naruto's words have no ill intent. He just sounds amused.

Neji is surprised. Then he's just sleeping.

-

-

-

Whenever he had free time, Neji wrote.

It didn't matter where, or how. He typed on his laptop, perched on the table near the only working socket in his home. Or outside, on a yellow pad, scribbling furiously with a short pencil. On the bus, he wrote texts that went nowhere, little snatches of scenes described in his own shorthand.

When he was tired--not physically but mentally, drained of ideas--Neji would work on his letter. It had gone through exactly forty-seven drafts, but Neji believed in revision, so that was fine. Today he sat on the bed, yellow pad balanced on his lap. In his right hand he held a dying ball-point pen.

He wrote, To Uzumaki Naruto, stopped, scratched it out. Wrote, Dear Naruto, underneath, in an unsure hand.

I don't know if you remember me. My name is Hyuuga Neji and I'm writing to apologize for--

Neji stopped, leaned his forehead against a damp palm. The pen was fading fast; his name barely appeared at all on the paper. It felt stupidly symbolic, as if it was some sign that he didn't matter. That he shouldn't bother.

Neji put down his paper. The pen he threw viciously out the window, where it clanged against the railing outside and then fell six stories down into the alley.

On his bedside table, the magazine mocked him. Neji hadn't actually opened it. He didn't want to. He didn't need to read an article on what Naruto's life had been like before his success. He'd seen plenty enough of it.

Neji looked out the window, which treated him to the dreary view of the neighboring apartment building. The brick was old, and rich with color. He imagined he could see through it, see through entire buildings, to the bus stop by his home.

Next to the magazine was his pile of mail. Mostly they were bills. Neji hadn't opened these, either.

----------

ItaNaru - working title is "Lock and Key"

They weren't even a metre apart, but the glass wall separating them made the distance insurmountable. Naruto pressed his palm against the glass; Iruka mirrored the action. Rather than comfort, the gesture filled Naruto's chest with cold bleakness.

This was their last conversation.

"Naruto," Iruka said, and then stopped. His fingers curled slightly, the tips pressed white and flat against the glass. "Naruto," he began again, lowering his voice, "just remember. You musn't tell them about him. Never."

Kyuubi.

It was a warning Iruka had repeated again and again and again ever since he'd taken Naruto in seven years ago. But it was the first time Naruto understood the importance of heeding Iruka's request. He ducked his head slightly, ragged blond hair hiding his eyes, and said thickly, "Yeah. Yeah, I will, Iruka."

They stayed silent for a few more moments. Next to Iruka, the digital clock was counting coolly down, reminding them that they only had a few minutes left. But Naruto couldn't think of anything to say.

"I'm proud of you," Iruka said, breaking the silence. "And I love you."

"Me, too," Naruto said. "I love you."

Three weeks ago Iruka had said, I'm never going to let the Council take you away from me. But it was impossible to oppose the sentence now; Uchiha Fugaku was an unbending man. Iruka's appeals had completely failed to reach him. So now Iruka pressed harder on the barrier between them, as if willing his body to phase through the glass. "I've always thought of you as a son, Naruto," he said.

Naruto opened his mouth. The digital timer beeped; the door slammed open, and a soldier stepped through.

Goodbye, Naruto thought, but somehow he couldn't force the words through his throat. He realized he was crying. Biting his lip, he watched as the soldier took Iruka away from him. As the soldier took his guardian--his dad, goddammit, his dad away.

-

The next day, white-masked soldiers bundled Naruto into a white van. He didn't look back at the holding facility as they closed the doors. It wasn't as if he would miss it.

He tested the chains, but even with his exceptional strength he doubted he could break them. Anyway, the soldiers had guns. His shitty one-piece suit would hardly protect him. With an irritated sigh, Naruto collapsed onto the floor, wincing at the hundred little metallic kinks of the chains.

"Bet you'd cry if you saw me now, huh, Dad," he said. He wasn't sure if you was talking to Iruka or the man whose face he remembered only vaguely.

He wanted to scratch his wrist, but the shackle got in the way. It itched like crazy. Worse, the shackle was tight across the skin, so when he moved his hand, the minute shifts only made the itch worse. It was like smelling ramen and knowing he didn't have enough money to buy it.

There were no windows, and the grill up front only let in a razor slice of light, which quickly dissolved into the darkness.

It was dark. Not silent, because of the dull thunder of the the van's wheels against the road. Naruto drew his knees up, closing his eyes. He cradled his itching wrist in the hollow between legs and chest.

Kyuubi was quiet, too, a dull ache of simmering, black wrath that made Naruto's head hurt. He wanted out, and out, and out. He hated the dark. There were a lot of things that Kyuubi hated. Naruto closed his eyes and tried to will the headache away.

He awoke when his body shot forward. The shackles arrested his motion: his shoulders screamed as his arms twisted back, threatening to dislocate.The pain burned away the grogginess of sleep--sleep? when did i sleep--and Naruto scrabbled back, feet slipping on the smooth floor of the van, until his back was pressed against the wall. He shook. He hurt.

There was a gunshot, the sound muffled. Naruto stilled, drawing his knees to his chest, and listened.

They'd stopped. They must have stopped. That was why he'd been thrown like a rag doll without a seat belt--

There was another gunshot. Someone yelled. Something thudded against the side of the van, and Naruto jumped. He jumped again when the doors screeched open, blinking stupidly at the light. It burned his eyes, but he refused to look away.

"Please. Come this way."

He didn't recognize the voice, or the man who stepped forward. His shoes made dull, echoing sounds against the floor.

"I can't," Naruto croaked. "They've got me chained."

"Ah," the man said. He crouched over Naruto. His face was shadowed, but Naruto saw a strong jawline, eyes at half-mast, and thick brows. He wore black clothes, on which was the symbol of--

"You're a terrorist," Naruto said, dumbly. "You're part of that terrorist organization."

He was sure this wasn't a good thing, except for the sudden, slight shhk of his shackle falling open. It fell to the ground. Then the other opened, as well. Naruto rubbed at his wrists, and then stopped when that only made the pain more raw.

"We're not a terrorist organization," the man said, looking up to frown at Naruto. "We are a peace-loving organization determined to free the people from the Council's oppressive rule!"

Peace-loving, Naruto thought, and remembered the gun-shots he'd heard. "Are you... rescuing me?" he said, just to be sure.

"Of course! My name is Lee! And you are Naruto."

Naruto looked at Lee, and then at his shoulder, ignoring the man's outstretched arm. "You're bleeding," he said dumbly.

"It is but a small wound," Lee said, "and inconsequential. Now please, come."

"You don't understand," Naruto said. Vivid memories were rearing, and the memory of rot tugged at his nose. "The Council's men, their weapons, they--"

His words tumbled to a halt at Lee's smile. He was possibly one of the ugliest men Naruto had ever seen, but that smile was sure, and assured. Naruto swallowed. He felt suddenly cold.

He could have stood up on his own, but he took Lee's hand. The digits were slightly cool against Naruto's heated flesh. The difference felt to Naruto like a warning.

They climbed out of the van. Naruto stepped over white-clad bodies. He bent to pick up a mask. The material was smooth against his fingertips. The face underneath reminded Naruto of one of his teachers at school. He looked away.

"Are you ready?" Lee asked.

Naruto clutched the mask to his chest and nodded. They were standing on a road. Both ends stretched towards a horizon: one end was a dull, darkened blue. The other held a sunset: red and gold, shot through with twisting ribbons of purple. Lee led Naruto away from both, off the road and into the nearby forest.

Naruto looked at the blood staining Lee's clothes. He closed his eyes briefly and held his prize tighter.

-

By the fifth day of travel, Lee was visibly sweating. It took him longer to find food, and when they took breaks, it was for his sake, not Naruto's. And once--just once, but Naruto saw and remembered clearly--he looked down at his hands, and they were trembling.

"You need to drink," Naruto said at last. He held out the water bottle Lee had given him.

"I'm fine," Lee said, and smiled. Naruto wanted to punch him.

"Can we at least rest? I'm tired," he added quickly before Lee could protest. "I mean, look. It's night-time!"

"Naruto," Lee started.

"Please," Naruto said. His gaze dropped. "I'm exhausted." As if to prove his point, he adjusted their pack. He'd taken to carrying it on the fourth day. He wasn't entirely lying, either: After an entire day, the pack weighed heavy on his shoulders, his back. A quiet ache gripped him, like tight bands across his chest.

"Okay. But only for a while," Lee warned, and they sat down.

Naruto shivered. He only had his one-piece suit, which not only looked ridiculous but was useless against the cold. His feet were bare, too, but Naruto had essentially spent his childhood as a wild-child. His calluses were almost as good as shoes.

Naruto was grateful for every meal. It meant less to carry. The biscuits Lee unwrapped with newly unsure hands tasted foul. They contained, Lee said, all the necessary essentials. Naruto thought they were just a way to trick your stomach into feeling full.

He had no idea where they were going, but Lee did. He was pointing now. "That way," Lee said, "lies a river. You can't miss it! It's majestic. If you follow it, you'll reach our base."

"What the hell do I care how we get there? I'll just keep following you," Naruto said, eyes fixed on Lee's face, on the pale, sallow quality of his skin. Lee smiled, and it wasn't reassuring at all.

"Come!" Lee said. "Repose must be brief, for time is not on our side."

He stood up, struck a pose, and swayed. Naruto looked dubiously at him and said, "Okay."

----------

NejiNaru - working title is "the fox," complete with pretentious non-capitalization yay

There was a fox on his bed.

It had nine tails.

Neji carefully sat up. Despite the evidence making itself comfortable on his blanket, he was almost certainly sure he wasn't dreaming.

"Good morning," he ventured. The fox yawned, revealing small, needle-sharp teeth, and eyed him sleepily. It had blue eyes. They glowed. Its fur was a soft-looking gold—not yellow, gold—and its tails were curled comfortably around its paws. It wasn't that big, either, maybe the size of a small dog.

Neji wondered what it was doing on his bed.

He got out, careful not to disturb the fox. Grabbing a towel and a change of clothes, he proceeded on to the bathroom, and gently closed the door behind him.

He looked at the mirror. A bewildered, pale face stared back at him, the pale, near-white eyes wide, the stern mouth pressed into an upside-down u.

He splashed water onto his face, ran it through his hair, and sighed. It bothered him to admit that he'd actually had more bizarre mornings than this.

Like that one time he'd woken up in Lee's room with a pounding headache, his clothes inexplicably missing, with absolutely no recollection of last night's events.

Compared to that, a nine-tailed fox was normal. Neji shuddered.

When he came out of the shower, his damp hair sticking to the back of his shirt, he found that the fox was still there. It was sleeping now, though, its nose tucked into its fur.

He was startled to find himself stroking it, and immediately tensed, but the fox didn't bite. It just slept, not seeming to notice what he was doing. Warily, he petted it a bit more, before snatching his hand away in half-panic.

Hm.

He picked up his backpack and, with one last look at the fox, went downstairs to breakfast.

-

"Good morning, Neji!" Lee said, as soon as Neji'd stepped through the school gates. Before Neji could reply—not that he would've—Lee added, "Did you know we have a new student? I just met him this morning."

Neji didn't reply. He was never sure how to act around Lee, because Lee had hated him for as long as he could remember, until suddenly, on his thirteenth birthday, Lee had walked up and declared himself Neji's best friend and rival, and then challenged him to a game of tennis.

In all actuality, Lee made a terrible rival. The score was thirteen to zero so far this month, in Neji's favor. (Not that Neji was keeping track.) But—and Neji would never, ever, ever, ever admit this out loud, to anyone—Lee was a surprisingly good best friend.

Which was the only reason Neji didn't punch Lee when Lee suddenly said, out of the blue: "I think he's your type."

"What!?"

"He's very handsome!" Lee went on, while Neji tried to remember how to breathe.

"I'm not gay!" Neji snapped.

Nearby, people stared. Neji ignored them. He stood in front of Lee, crossed his arms, and glared.

Lee stared at him. "You're not?" he said, in obvious confusion.

"No!" Neji hissed.

"Ah," Lee said. "But, you turned down Ino, and you turned down Ten-Ten, and you even turned down Sakura." Lee took a moment or two think worshipful (and obsessive) thoughts about Sakura, no doubt fantasizing about her huge forehead, before continuing. "I assumed it was because—"

"I'm not." Neji's eyes narrowed.

"I just don't think it's healthy," Lee said. "Gai says we are enjoying the springtime of—"

"Lee."

"Yes, Neji?"

"Shut. Up."

Lee just grinned.

EDIT: oh hey here's one more:

SasuNaru - working title is "Reversal"

His first memory is of waking up: His lids heavy against his eyes, sheets loose around him, his fingers cold against the air. And that feeling of slowly, slowly lifting up, until he saw an off-white ceiling, walls scuffed with brown marks, and realizes he has opened his eyes.

It's not a particularly good memory, or terribly exciting. He cherishes it, anyway, because it is his first memory. It is where he starts, where he begins, and he does not care that everyone around him insists otherwise, because all that comes... after.

After that curious, suspended moment, tipping slowly into the future. His first conscious exhalation, breath ghosting over his cheeks. His first movement, unsure and uncertain, is the curling of his fingers, to bring them under the blanket and away from the cold.

The first person he sees is a nurse (black eyes, light hair, cheeks eternally flushed). The second is a doctor (shorter than the nurse, but less friendly, her hard lips pulled into a frown). The third person he sees is a man buried under the weight of white, red, and duty.

The fourth person he sees is Naruto, which is another memory he cherishes, in that hazy, uncertain way people have, when they are casting the line of thought back and wondering, When did we start? How did we meet?

That first meeting. Naruto staring at him, Naruto slowly smiling, his blond hair matted and unwashed, his clothes dirty, saying--

Was it special?

(It wasn't, and in fact he knows that it probably isn't an actual memory at all, that his mind probably snuck in details that he learned later, but it's a memory he cherishes anyway.)

--saying, "Sasuke," like his name meant everything.

-

Afterwards, after the check-ups, the physicals, the tests, the questions--and these never end, people just move them to their eyes and away from their mouths--afterwards, people tell him.

His name is Uchiha Sasuke, his is seven years old, his birthday is July 23rd, and he has no family.

On the back of his clothes, Sasuke finds a fan. It looks silly, he thinks, and he doesn't know what it means, but when he asks for a different shirt, a blank shirt, they look at him and their eyes say, no, along with the hundred-and-one questions they never, never ask.

He goes to school. The other students point, and whisper. The seat next to him is empty.

naruto au mutantverse ficlet

Wed, 17 Jun 2009 16:33:50 GMT

So after realizing I'd have to rewrite C&A's next chapter--again--because as usual my notes are wrong and it has to happen this way, not like that, what am I thinking--I decided to take a break to distract myself so I feel less depressed. (2,000 words! Killed! Sob.) Um. And what happened was that I wrote out some 900 words set in an AU mutantverse. SasuNaru is in my head so that's what I wrote it as, except Sasuke didn't want to cooperate, the asshole.

Figured some people might get a kick out of it. *shrug* So I'm posting it!

-

Sasuke hated buying the groceries. It was a cold reminder of their new situation--more than their forced move, or the new school, or the new lines on his parents' faces. But, because it was better than going home early, he marched himself to the stores every day after school to buy the ingredients for dinner, stretching their money as far as he could, and regarded each coin saved with pride.

Afterwards, he carefully put away the money, and then walked home. Today it was sunny; heat clung to his skin, and he transferred all the plastic bags to his right hand so he could wipe the sweat from his face. The temperature, and the bright sunlight, made Sasuke grudgingly look forward to home. They couldn't afford AC, but Sasuke hurried as he thought of their living room, which would be cool with the windows flung wide open to invite the breeze.

He'd forgotten his sunglasses at home. Not that he could wear them all the time, anyway--too suspicious. Sasuke wanted them now, though; he kept his eyes on the ground, like it would shield them from the sunlight. His headache pounded, a twin set of sharp heat behind his eyes.

Then Sasuke realized he was on the ground, staring up at the sky. The headache flared; his left arm complained a bare second later, and Sasuke realized he'd fallen.

"--Shit, sorry--you okay?" someone said, and Sasuke thought: No, someone fucking ran into me.

He pulled himself up, blinking hard to clear the tears from his eyes, and snarled, "What the fuck."

Then he saw the black eye sitting in the bruised face, the red finger-marks on the boy's neck, the way his arm jutted wrong from his body. Sasuke's breath caught.

"Sorry, I have to go," the boy said. He glanced behind. Obviously, he was running from something. Sasuke reached out and almost grabbed the boy's wrist; then thought better of it, and snagged his collar instead.

"This way," Sasuke said, and dragged as he ran.

The boy followed without protest. He didn't seem to notice, or care, that his arm was broken, only holding it to his chest with his other arm. Sasuke forced himself not to notice the glaring bruises. He didn't know if they were still being pursued, but he wasn't stupid enough to check.

They reached Sasuke's house. Sasuke unlocked the door first try. He slammed the front door shut behind, and only then remembered to take off his shoes.

As always, the entrance hall was perfectly dark. Sasuke blinked rapidly, even as his headache let up slightly. He said, shortly, "Wait here."

Before he could go into the kitchen and present his mother the damaged groceries, though, she appeared, drying a glass and frowning. "Sasuke, what's the matter?"

In the dark, she was tinged red with worry. "Sorry," he said. "I, um, brought a... brought a friend."

The "friend" was almost entirely yellow. Sasuke thought he could smell the fear on him and much as he could see it. Sasuke was startled, though, to see thin blue wisps thread through the boy: Emerging cheer. "Sorry for the intrusion, ma'am!" the boy said.

Sasuke frowned. He stalked to the kitchen, and turned as mother and boy followed. In the dim light of the kitchen, they were faded people half-obstructed by their emotions: Mikoto's drawn tight to her body, guarded, the boy's taking up twice more space than needed.

Sasuke's mother said, "Oh," when she saw the boy's injuries. "We must get you to a hospital," she said.

The boy shook his head. "It's fine," he said happily. "It's not as bad as it looks, promise."

He was hiding his arm, Sasuke realized; the yellow fear cloaking him wasn't because of whoever had hurt him, but because of his mother. The boy didn't want her knowing, and Sasuke had no idea why he was obliging: He stepped around his mother, not even apologizing for not putting away the groceries as he said, "Come on, already," and dragged the boy up to his room.

With the thick curtains drawn, his bedroom was pitch-black. Mindful of his visitor, though, Sasuke opened the curtains and then the window to let in air and sunlight. Then he moved to the desk, which sat shadowed in the corner.

"Thanks for that," the boy said, settling on Sasuke's bed and not caring that he was wrinkling it. Sasuke watched, astonished, as he grabbed his arm, and--

crack

--snapped it into place, then clenched his fist a moment later and nodded, satisfied.

"You," Sasuke said, straightening; even as he did, he saw the way the boy's bruises were fading--the black eye was already gone. "You, you're a--"

The boy beat him easily, saying: "So are you a mutant, too? 'Cause you smell like one," and Sasuke watched the world turn yellow as his own emotions exploded and he felt his entire chest constrict.

The boy--the other mutant, Sasuke thought giddily--was looking at him, expectant. The only marks that hadn't faded were the scars on his cheeks. His eyes were blue.

Sasuke thought, exultant: Yes. Yes, I am. I am. What he said was, "Get out."

"The fuck?" the boy said.

"Get out," Sasuke said. "You--get the fuck out!"

The boy flashed red. "Fucking fine, you bastard," he said, and stormed out. Sasuke watched him leave, watched the world darken as the fear left him. He dropped his head into his palm and thought, Shit.

Naruto: Crown & Anchor, Chapter Nine: Bet Exchange

Mon, 15 Jun 2009 14:58:22 GMT

Title: Crown & Anchor
Author: insteadofdeath
Pairing: Sasuke/Naruto
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3,709
Summary: [AU] One Monday morning, Naruto answers the door to find one Uchiha Sasuke asking him for a date. The problem is, they've never even met before.
Notes: Sorry for the wait! But stuff interfered. Like graduation. (That's right! I'm free of high school now.) Hopefully this chapter satisfies. I feel really rusty, though my dear pandamneris says I'm not, haha.

Previous chapters here.

Crown & Anchor
by Nilladriel

Chapter Nine: Bet Exchange

Naruto departed for Wave on December 17. It meant an entire day of driving in icy conditions, with frequent paranoid glances at his heater. The car had been making noises at him all month and he kept having visions of it dying, leaving him stranded and fair prey to ghosts or monsters, or at least extreme cold and boredom.

He explained this in a very detailed text to Kiba at one of the rest stations; Kiba told him to lay off the bad movies, already.

When he finally arrived, it was night, and his stomach was telling him the dried squid and chips he'd eaten weren't adequate as dinner. Unfortunately, Naruto didn't have any concrete memories of the city he'd technically grown up in. This meant nearly an hour of driving fruitlessly around in the dead of night while the maps he consulted promised he'd hit a hotel soon, just turn left and then right and keep going straight and, no, shit, he'd missed a turn, maybe if he went down that way instead--

He was about to give up when his car rounded a bend and he realized, with a start, that he recognized the road.

Naruto stopped the car.

The view was different, of course, because he wasn't looking down at it from a two-story window. Despite the different angle, though, he recognized it all the same. To the right was a long stretch of green, sinking down into a stream that curled around a tree.

Opposite it was the familiar mansion, with its square architecture and stocky walls.

Maybe he remembered the city better than he thought.

Naruto studied Sarutobi's house with shadowed, heavy-lidded eyes. Then he backed out of the street. He'd rather stay at a hotel.

Now that he'd finally placed himself, it was easier to backtrack. There was the park he normally went to during holidays; the line of shops jutting out from the village, where he'd watched school children buy candy after school and never quite worked up the courage to join them.

There, at the corner, was the world's cheapest hotel, starting at the very reasonable price of just twenty per night, breekfast included!!!

Naruto eyed the three red exclamation marks with trepidation. "No thanks," he said. "And you misspelled breakfast."

Three blocks away, and five seconds from giving in and staying at the world's cheapest hotel, he found the Red Prawn, which was fronted by a peeling sign and a fountain with gray-green coins at the bottom instead of water. In the lobby, a tacky red carpet ran all the way to the front desk, maybe so visitors could pretend they were celebrities.

Above the front desk hung a gigantic, plastic prawn.

It was probably the prawn that convinced him. Naruto leaned over the counter and found his best smile. "How much for a room?"

Thirty minutes later he was unpacking, or at least pawing through his bag looking for a change of clothes. Ideally, he'd have food before the shower, but the shower was closer. He slung a towel around his neck--Sakura's recent birthday gift--and turned, which was of course when the phone rang.

"Aw, fuck," Naruto sighed, and went to dig through the pants he'd left crumpled on the floor. He ended up having to reverse all the pockets; meanwhile, the phone rang, and rang, and rang. The ringtone wasn't one he'd assigned to his closest.

Naruto got to the phone just as the ringing stopped. He frowned and flipped it open, and then he said, "Shit," when he saw the name displayed.

Sasuke hadn't contacted him at all since their confrontation. Why start now?

Naruto hesitated. He was tired, hungry, and cranky. He pressed the green call button anyway and sat cross-legged on the floor.

Sasuke picked up immediately. "Naruto!"

He was louder than Naruto remembered. "Please tell me there's a good reason you called."

"Where are you?"

"... What?" Naruto said, intelligently. "Why do you care?"

"Just tell me," Sasuke said. Even through the phone, Naruto could hear Sasuke's worry, heavy like weights.

"Uh, no," Naruto said, but he didn't quite manage the brattish tone.

"Naruto," Sasuke snapped, and then: "are you really in Wave?"

"And you say you're not a stalker," Naruto said.

"Shit!"

Naruto moved the phone from his ear so he could stare at it properly. All it told him was that he was talking to U Sasuke, and that the conversation had lasted for twenty seconds.

He switched the phone to his left hand, so he could occupy his right with massaging the confusion away at his temples. "Right. Are you trying to be mysterious again? Remember how shittily that worked last time?"

"You need to come back," Sasuke said, plainly ignoring him.

Fine. Naruto could be stubborn, too. "No," he said.

"Naruto, you don't understand--"

"The last time I tried to understand, you ass, you basically slammed the door in my face," Naruto said. And then he hung up, because it felt good to have the last word.

-

"I'm staying in a hotel with a giant fucking plastic prawn hanging in reception. I cannot tell you how amazing this is," Naruto said. He was sprawled on the bed, like Akamaru after one of his baths and trying to get everything dog-fur wet. Above him, the fan creaked laboriously.

"It's eight," Sakura said, "in the morning. I'm hanging up."

"Huh? Then why'd you pick up?" Naruto asked.

"Because it's eight in the morning, and you called," Sakura said. The rest of her explanation was mangled by a yawn, although Naruto caught the words emergency and idiot just fine.

"Oh," Naruto said, and pouted.

"Really," Sakura said, in a tone that might have been called fond if she were anyone other than Sakura. "Why are you calling so early?"

"Um," Naruto said. "Because I promised I'd call you every day? And I'm seeing Sarutobi later today."

"Weren't you two estranged?" Sakura yawned again. "You could have asked me to come along, silly."

He could have. Instead, he'd gone with her as she did last-minute shopping, picking out presents for her parents and then wrapping them for her in the floor of her living-room while she admired the way he mercilessly beat the ribbons into pleasing shapes. Afterwards he'd given her a ride to the airport and given her a hug.

"You having a good time with your parents?" he asked instead.

"Yes," Sakura said. "It's good to be back, you know?"

Naruto laughed. "Yeah. So what're you doing today?"

"Going back to sleep," Sakura said. "And then I'm going with Mom and Dad to the hospital, see how things are going there."

Her tone was so wistful. She'd wanted to be a doctor once, Naruto remembered.

"Anyway. Good luck with Sarutobi. Tell me how it goes after." Another yawn. "Good night, Naruto. Morning. Whatever."

"Hah. Thanks," Naruto said. "Bye."

He shut the phone and stared out the window. Even poets would have struggled to describe the day, which seemed determined to be as gloomy and desaturated as possible. Even the sunlight was gray.

He was already dressed, because he'd gotten up at four, itchy and feeling the need to run, or to jump in the car and drive... although to where, he wasn't sure. He'd already taken three showers and brushed his teeth seven times. He'd never felt so clean in his life, and his teeth hurt.

He hadn't eaten breakfast.

Reluctantly, he went outside and took the three stairs down to ground floor at as slow a pace as he could manage. Empty of luggage, his car felt bigger and less clogged up. Naruto didn't.

He got in, put on his seatbelt, and set his hands on the steering wheel. He didn't remember the drive.

In the daylight, Sarutobi's home didn't look as damn ugly. Naruto drove to the gate and rolled down the window of the car. He didn't recognize the woman in the guardhouse, but he recognized her expression. It was the eternally suspicious look of security officers everywhere.

"Hi," he said. "I'm Uzumaki Naruto and I'm here to visit the old man... to visit Sarutobi Hiruzen. I didn't call ahead and he doesn't know I'm coming or that I'm here. Before you ask."

He flashed a smile, which just made her glare harder. "Please wait," she said, and stepped back into the guardhouse, where he conveniently couldn't hear what she was saying as she contacted the main house.

There was a hidden camera just to the right, if Naruto remembered right. He amused himself with making faces at it while he waited.

The guard emerged eventually, looking even more suspicious, her hand twitching like it might go for her gun. Naruto tensed until she said, "Go ahead, Mr. Uzumaki," and the gate rolled open slowly, like it was as suspicious of him as the guard was.

Naruto took a deep breath. "Thanks," he said. He didn't actually go forward, not until the guard made an impatient sound. Remembering her gun, he drove. He watched the main house get closer, and swallowed. To the right and up, he recognized the window he'd jumped out of. The memory sat hotly in his stomach, and Naruto clenched his jaw as he parked in front of the entrance. It took him three tries to lock his car properly.

The door opened before he had a chance to knock, revealing a familiar messy-haired woman in a jacket, armed with both weapons and a slicing tongue.

Naruto tried a grin and mostly succeeded. "Anko! What a surprise! Still working here, huh?"

Anko was heavier than he remembered. It was all new muscle, though, packed on slowly throughout a decade. They were the same height, and she probably weighed less, but when she smiled and crossed her arms she became a better block for the door than a brick wall would have.

"Why the hell are you here, Naruto?" she said.

"To see the old man," Naruto said. It was possible to lie to Anko, but it was better not to.

"You said that," Anko said. "Why?"

"Because we haven't seen each other in forever?" Naruto said, like he was throwing darts at a board blind. "Because I have some stuff I want to ask him? Because I told Konohamaru I would?"

Anko licked her lips slowly. "Fuck! Fine. Come in." She shook her head.

Naruto nodded and stepped through. Anko closed the heavy doors shut behind him and slid the locks into place with more ceremony and drama than strictly needed.

"This way," Anko said.

"Wait, whoah, hold on," Naruto said. "Don't tell me the old man's free?"

Anko turned around and managed to look down at him, reducing Naruto to an intimidated twelve-year-old with a single glance. "No," she said. "But he's making time for you anyway. Now move."

Cowed, Naruto followed Anko through the mansion. It hadn't changed much. The numerous paintings, the very ones that had first invited Naruto to explore the world of art, were the same. Naruto smiled as he passed them by, resisting the urge to stop and touch like he'd done as a kid.

They didn't go to Sarutobi's study, which was good, because Naruto probably would have pissed his pants. Instead, Anko took him to the second drawing room. In theory, it was more informal.

Anko opened the door for him. "Good luck, kid," she said. She looked grim. Naruto remembered being twelve, and really not intimidated, just in a lot of pain, while Anko knelt in front of him and picked shards of glass out of his skin. She'd told him to be smarter about it next time he jumped out of windows.

"Thanks," he said.

Anko gave him a real smile, one that didn't remind Naruto of snakes. "Sure," she said, and left. Naruto listened to the thuds of her heavy boots against the wooden floor. Then he entered the room, closing the door behind him securely before looking up.

Talking to Sarutobi on the phone had been bad. Just seeing him in person was worse. Naruto shoved his hands into his pockets so he could pretend they weren't shaking and slowly approached.

The old man was sitting on the couch, having a smoke. He was dressed in white, except for the ridiculous red cravat at his neck, like he'd stepped right out of Naruto's too-crisp memories. He sat in his arm-chair the same way he sat in his study: as if it were a throne of power.

"Naruto," he said, warmly. "Welcome home."

"Hey," Naruto said. He crossed the room and sat down. "Uh. Sorry for dropping by without notice."

"You are always welcome here, Naruto," Sarutobi corrected him. He indicated the table between them. There was a tray, with a jug and two cups, but the tray lined Naruto's side of the table, not Sarutobi's. "Drink?"

Naruto caught himself shaking his head, and stopped. "Sure." He poured awkwardly, and was quiet as he watched the steam rise from the cup.

He said, "So," which was a good start, sort of like pressing down on the accelerator and not moving at all once the race began.

Sarutobi, decades older and a hell of a lot more experienced in small-talk, said, "How have you been?"

"Good. I mean... yeah, good," Naruto said. He took a sip. It was hot chocolate, sweet on his tongue. It wasn't Neji's tea, but it was good enough that Naruto downed the cup and then poured himself another. "Teaching is... nice."

Sarutobi smiled at him. It transformed his face into a grandfather's. "I'm glad."

"Did you know...." His voice cracked. Naruto cleared his throat and tried again. "Did you know your grandson's at the school I teach at?"

"Konohamaru?" Sarutobi looked proud just mentioning the brat's name. "Yes. It's a very reputable school."

"Yeah," Naruto said. I want to turn the art program there around, he thought hard at Sarutobi, like it might replace actual conversation. I'm new now but in a decade things will change. You'll see.

Naruto looked down at his cup. He wasn't relaxing, but he'd fooled himself enough that he had that he didn't think much of saying, "I bet you're wondering why I'm here, huh."

Sarutobi leaned back, frowning slightly but still somehow holding on to his smile. "Well, yes. But, Naruto," he said, "what's important is that you visited. It means a lot."

Naruto nodded, studying the old man's face. It was the same, from the deep-set wrinkles to the downturned nose, but more tired. "I wanted to ask about my Dad," he admitted, leaving Konohamaru's request for the moment. It was probably bad manners, barging into someone's home and then demanding to know what was wrong like an entitled therapist.

Naruto wasn't into politeness, but this was Sarutobi.

He watched the old man's expression change, from same-old to different. Guarded and angry, those thin shoulders stiffening under the suit, and Naruto felt himself tense as well. He took another sip of the hot chocolate and felt the heat rush down his throat.

"Look. I know you have reservations. But I have a right to know. He's my Dad," Naruto started, ready to fight.

"Did something happen?" the old man asked instead.

"What?" Naruto said.

"There must have been a catalyst," Sarutobi said, "to your recent phone calls and this sudden visit."

"Not really," Naruto said, and then wondered why he was being so defensive. "I'd always wondered. I just didn't think to ask until now."

"Naruto," Sarutobi said, and sighed.

Naruto felt his fingers twitch. His gaze fell on the old man's red cravat, and he winced, looking away. In the silence, which held the prickly, uncertain air of a PT conference, he took the time to study the drawing room. Like the rest of the mansion, it hadn't changed, either, except the years had transformed decadence into tacky style, like a dated magazine that was trying too hard. Too much floral pattern. Sakura would probably like it, though.

With nothing but hot chocolate in his stomach, he was beginning to feel strangely sleepy. It's probably the lack of sleep and food, he thought, and was startled when the old man suddenly snapped, "Naruto!"

He jumped to alertness, said, "Yeah?" and then faded back.

"Naruto," the old man started, and then said instead: "Naruto. Did you eat today?"

"Skipped breakfast," Naruto replied automatically. "And had a shit dinner last night." He shook his head. "I'm okay, really. I'm just tired. I didn't sleep much last night."

The old man looked alarmed, not appeased... until his face shifted, and he leaned forward, wisps of smoke escaping from between his lips. "I'll send for food shortly, then," he suggested. "Now, Naruto, I would like you to be more honest with me."

Naruto stared blankly, and felt himself drawing back.

While he was driving her to the airport, Sakura actually hadn't looked too enthused. When Naruto asked her why, she said it was because as much as she loved her parents, visiting them meant a break from being Haruno Sakura the independent, self-reliant woman. It meant being just little Sakura again, who'd cried when she didn't get perfect scores on her tests and mowed the lawn for extra money. "Like jumping into a time-travel machine," Sakura said. "They even keep my room the same. All my old posters of idols are still up, you know?"

Naruto had scarcely been back fifteen minutes and he already understood what Sakura meant. Once or twice, Sarutobi had had to visit the school personally to settle affairs; or Naruto would pull pranks during the holidays. Afterwards, he'd always sit Naruto down and give him that look, one that radiated disappointment about as subtly as the afternoon sun.

Naruto stared hard at the expectant, faded eyebrows, the pipe in Sarutobi's mouth, and tried to think through his sudden exhaustion. "Honest about what?" he said, playing the exact same card Sasuke had, two months earlier: What do I have to lie about?

Sarutobi played better. "I want to know why you're really visiting me, Naruto," he said, not harshly.

Naruto reached for more hot chocolate. The old man began to say, "Naruto, you shouldn't," and then stopped, brows furrowed, which made no sense. It was just hot chocolate.

"It's no big deal," Naruto said, which was the right thing to say, and then: "It was just some guy," which wasn't. Especially since Sasuke wasn't really "just some guy." He was... Sasuke, and confusing and frustrating and stupid, and... Sarutobi was saying something.

"Sorry, what was that?" Naruto asked.

Sarutobi sighed, looking vaguely concerned, and summarized his words into a simple, "Who was this 'guy,' Naruto?"

Naruto remained absolutely silent until the old man's expression, still eyebrows and all, really got to him. "He just said we knew each other." He had to concentrate on his own words, and he knew old man Sarutobi didn't like what he was hearing, especially when he straightened and folded his arms.

"Naruto. I want you to be honest." Sarutobi made sure Naruto was looking at him before he went on: "Please. Was this man Uchiha Sasuke?"

Naruto dropped his eyes and said, "Yes," and felt as if he shouldn't have.

Sarutobi's lips thinned, like he was trying to make his own mouth disappear. "I see."

Naruto felt like asking something stupid, like, is that bad? but obviously it was. He slouched some more, letting the embroidered cushions swallow him.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

The old man looked startled. "It's not your fault. You wouldn't have known."

"Because you tell me jack shit," Naruto muttered. At the old man's disapproving look, he straightened, trying to assert himself, but his body wouldn't cooperate and the cushions were too comfy anyway. "Tell me," he said, and hated how it came out like a whine.

"You won't want to hear it," Sarutobi said.

"I do," Naruto said.

"Uchiha Sasuke is dangerous. His family...." Sarutobi trailed off. "Your father's unfortunate death--"

"That was," Naruto said, and then a shudder swept through him and something inside him said, NO, and he shut up.

"I'm sorry," Sarutobi said, as if that would ever make up for--

"Orochimaru," Naruto said, neatly interrupting his own thoughts.

Sarutobi looked even more alarmed at that. "What do you mean?"

Naruto hesitated. Something else he shouldn't have said. But Sarutobi looked concerned, and he was only an old man, really, and the hot chocolate had been good and he couldn't bring himself to feel too alarmed. "Sasuke was talking to him. On the phone. He... Orochimaru sent men to follow me. Only for one day," he added hastily.

Sarutobi didn't answer, not at first. He seemed to be deliberating and even poured some drink for himself, when he usually never consumed what he set out for Naruto, probably because he didn't like the taste.

"You should stay," Sarutobi said firmly.

Naruto blinked. "I have a hotel room."

The old man frowned. He put his arms on the chair, straightening slightly, and levelled Naruto with a somber look. "I'll be blunt. I'm concerned for your safety. The security here could protect you."

Yeah. Security here was good. Naruto'd gotten caught on camera every time he'd tried to escape, before.

"Something happened," he said, not to the old man but to his feet. "Something must've, to get you all paranoid like this."

"I can't explain to you right now," the old man said.

"Bullshit," Naruto said. He looked up and said again, "Bullshit." But the anger wasn't rising. It was there, coiled and heated, but it wasn't running through him. He was just sitting, on the couch with a cup of hot chocolate he couldn't bring himself to finish.

"And it would make me happy if you stayed," Sarutobi added. "Can't an old man have the people he loves close by?"

Naruto closed his eyes, and knew right away that he was caving. "Fine," he said. "I'm only staying for a while, anyway."

Sarutobi smiled, self-satisfied. "Thank you, Naruto," he said. His voice was self-satisfied too.

"I'm tired," Naruto whispered. When had his eyes closed?

"I know," the old man said. "You've had a lot to drink." He rose. Naruto heard careful, shuffling footsteps, and a low conversation. He recognized Anko's angry footsteps even through the sleepy haze.

"Oi. Come on, kiddo," someone said. It was Anko, grabbing his arm with all the care for a rag doll. "Get up. We're going to your room."

"Okay," Naruto said, obediently, and rose, almost dropping his cup in the process.

e-21

Sun, 14 Jun 2009 08:59:25 GMT

... I don't believe it's over....

D:

I'm going to go cry in the corner now.